Archive | April, 2012

Being heard: Tapping into the substance that gives truth power.

25 Apr

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions.

Instead, every season, I grapple with a different area where I need change or improvement.  Right now, it’s about friendships… More to come later.

The last season was about figuring out how to do urgency.

I’m a calm, peace-filled, bright and shiny, fun,  logical, God-loving person.  While I fully grasp the degree of importance and timing of issues, there’s close-to-nothing on Earth that rattles my spirit to the core and causes crazed, cursing, loud panic.

What a blessing.

Interestingly, last year exposed the challenge that accompanies the blessing of a calm and peaceful spirit:

When you are called to lead, and your voice needs to make the cry to action, failing to make your cry heard is an irresponsible use of power.  

At work, at home, with friends, family, it was consistently problematic that in rare moments where it was needed and appropriate, I couldn’t seem to communicate urgency.  I realized how bad it was when the aftermath of such moments proved, had the urgency been communicated, the outcome would have been different.

My father is an amazing man and one of my closest friends, my mentor, my neighbor, and my boss.  Fun times… Really… Well, sometimes.  He reads these. Let me stop.  Love you Dada!

Anyway, he struggled to get me to understand how critical it was I perfect this area but I couldn’t hear him, because his style of communicating urgency is so different from and not aligned with my spirit.

He urged: “You have a powerful message people need to hear and you’re not getting heard when you most need to be.”

I heard: “Be loud, panicked, and angry if you need to, but be heard!”  He never used those words at all.

Don’t let yourself block what you receive.  

Not only do we subconsciously filter understanding, we also learn from what we see.

What we learn defines the realm of what we think is possible.

Be very careful with how you educate yourself, even passively.  If the models given you, the information around you isn’t what you need, aggressively look for it.

Knowledge of the need for change can be weakened and hindered by lack of knowledge about the possibilities.

Don’t let that limit you.

This took me a while but I figured it out.

So how do I make sure powerful messages people need to hear are getting heard when they most need to be?

Well.

The first step: Recognize how you assign urgency.  I value love and life above all else.  That means I may drop everything to drive hours to a hospital to visit a friend, or take time to comfort someone suffering from loss.  I may consider it just as important to honor a child’s birthday as it is to help someone in need.  To spend hundreds of dollars on celebrating art and life instead of designer clothing or investments.

 

 
To figure out what my urgent looks like, I needed to trust myself and my judgment first.

When I realized and accepted my brand of power and communication is regulated by Godly love, that trust came easy.

The next step: Recognize what communication tools were given to you to express the message.  I write.  And I sing.  I draw, paint, dance, cook, and design clothing among other things.

With trust and understanding of my resources, came confidence in my abilities and the willingness to use them as bold tools, weapons of love.

In the middle of a tense and angry meeting who’s to say it’s inappropriate for me to sing for a couple seconds, and then speak when folk’s hearts and ears are more open?

Who’s to say art can’t communicate a message as powerfully as the written word?

Who’s to say an outfit can’t express light and love on a day when you feel like you’re under attack?

Who’s to say a meal filled with love can’t open spirits to receive?

Who’s to say our words have to be negative to communicate urgency?

To speak truth to power, we have to understand and align ourselves with the right source of our own power, which is higher than everything else in our lives.

That’s the substance that gives truth power.

Aside

Reflection: What do you block yourself from receiving because of how you feel about the giver?

24 Apr

This past weekend Pog* and I went suit-shopping.  I got creative with my suggestions, he loved them, and left happy and surprised by his choices.  Monday, I tried on a ring received as a gift years ago, that I’d never worn.  When I asked his input he encouraged me to wear it, I agreed, and later was pleased with my choice when glimpsed in the mirror.

I’m wearing the ring again today and as I look at it, I think… If he didn’t trust me and love the dickens out of me, he might not have even heard my suit suggestion, much less considered agreeing with it, decided to act, and acted.

When we are led to step outside of our comfort zones for our own good, what we think of the person leading us there matters.  If we don’t trust them, like them, or love them we may miss a great opportunity for learning, growth and even change.

Scary thing is, life change and growth is much more complicated than fashion.  Putting on a pinstriped suit or acrylic ring has nothing on overcoming fear and self-doubt or accepting God’s love.

What we receive depends so much upon how much we love and trust the giver.

This is why it’s so important to love God purely.  When we doubt and question the spirit of change and growth, which challenges us, stretches and changes us, we hurt ourselves.

We shrink ourselves.

When we’re unwilling to change, we owe it to ourselves to question whether we’re focusing so hard on past hurt or mistrust… We’ve blinding ourselves from seeing good for what it is.

Remember to pull yourself, your feelings, your resistance out of scenarios that challenge you.  Focus on what you might learn, how you might grow.  Then step forward, confident, trusting.

 

*Pog is the love of my life: He’s a Powerful Man Of God, and the M for man is silent, representing the human, superficial stuff that comes between the Power Of God.

Natural order: Getting your life together.

23 Apr

All my life I’ve loved to put things in order.  I naturally arrange objects in forms of symmetry, choose complementary colors, nonchalantly clean and organize, and set scenes of beauty constantly.

Recently I let things slip so far out of balance my home was a mess.  Yesterday, after a music-fueled maniacal cleaning session that lasted until the wee hours of the morn, the home finally began to return to order.  This morning, while I reflected on how much the peace and pleasure I felt in my spirit outweighed exhaustion I realized what was really going on.

I was feeling the same kind of appropriate resistance to disorder that I would to an accuser: My spirit was telling me something was wrong.

This wasn’t about misplaced objects, dust or disorganization.

Order is a critically important part of nature and our lives within it.

The world is naturally a beautiful, harmonious place.  Pristine lakes, floating clouds, majestic forests, powerful volcanoes, rocky mountains, shining stars… Soaring rooted trees, brilliantly changed butterflies, zooming hummingbirds, sweet honeysuckle, explosive lemon, fragrant blooms…

All exist in peaceful, divine order.

 

Order, harmony, balance and peace are the state of life at its highest natural state.

Where in nature do you see rot?  Natural decomposition fertilizes and nourishes the earth.

Where in nature do you see filth?  The earth cleanses and replenishes itself.

Where in nature do you see meaningless chaos and disorder?  All natural processes are meaningful, necessary, and interconnected.

Where in nature do you see failure?  The earth recovers easily, naturally from forest fires, tsunamis, earthquakes, tornadoes, floods and other events we call natural disasters.

There is a natural order to life and it is peaceful, harmonious, balanced, clean, fresh, functional, meaningful, and beautiful.

Interruption of a food chain or introduction of a new element can decimate a species or ruin an ecological system.

Why then, do we allow our surroundings to become unnaturally disordered?  Our homes, offices, cars, bags, cabinets, finances, friends, phones, emails, bookshelves, health, faith…

How can we convince ourselves order isn’t important?  The world as we know it would simply end if ever the sun failed to rise or set.

One thing different.  Everything changes.

Part of natural order is cleansing and refreshment.  Rain washes dust from leaves and gives precious moisture to soil.  We wash and nourish our bodies daily, cleansing inside and out and we must care for our surroundings with the same diligence.

Part of natural order is balance.  A leaning tree will right itself, slowly and surely over time.  We can’t allow ourselves to become so imbalanced, maintaining order in our lives is impossible.

Part of natural order is harmony and symbiosis.  Light and dark, consumption and reproduction, hot and cold, male and female, death and life.  We can’t deny ourselves rest any more than we can deny ourselves effort but we can let both be meaningful, enjoyable and interdependent.

Part of natural order is the supernatural, the world unseen.  Wonders and miracles, signs and serendipity, destiny and vision, love and life, talents and gifts: God.  We rise every morning to a miraculous new day and we must approach it with the reverence, awe, hope and wondrous expectation a miracle deserves.

With this perspective we understand true significance and see with long-term vision.  We ascend the mountain to assess the terrain below in all directions.  We assemble the advisors, information, tools, weapons, builders and soldiers we need to carry out our plan.  We pray.  We weigh and consider our environment and choose for optimum benefit.

When we rise above to the proper vantage point God can effectively direct how we put our lives in meaningful order.

We know what steps to take.

We move.

I will be making sure to follow my own advice and stay high, balanced, and rested as I order my steps.

Life in 2012: How do you change the world when so much is going wrong?

20 Apr

The problems we face are enormous.  

Trayvon MartinSalecia Johnson and J’aiesha ScottShaima AlawadiJose GuerenaBrisinia & Raul FloresDavid KaoVincent Jen ChinCaylee AnthonyJonBenet RamseyEmmett Till.

The problems we face are institutional.

Law Enforcement

Education

Religion

Environment

Slavery

The problems we face are global.

Politics

Economy

Food

Water

The problems are so huge, sometimes we wonder what we’re supposed to do about them when it seems like nothing is good anymore.

What’s good?

God is.

Love is.

Life is.

You.

When our words, our lives are about what is good and right we shine like blinding flashpoints of love in darkness…

And eliminate it.

The power of one child. 

Where will you shine today?

Choose who you like carefully: You become like them.

18 Apr

I heard a line yesterday that stirred me:

“Do you really want to be like him?”

The question was posed in the context of a budding romantic relationship and was so simple.

When we choose to be intimately involved with someone as a friend or life companion, we have to choose carefully.

Too often, because we’re focused on immediate gains, we never stop to consider a simple truth:  When we like someone, we are attracted to something in them, that we want for ourselves.

We are subconsciously seeking to become like them.

Now, that’s awesome if your heart and spirit are pointed in the right place: Then you’re always attracted to someone’s Godliness and everything’s all good.

We’re not perfect and that’s not always the case.

Ask yourself whether you want to be like the person you choose to spend so much time with.  Because you will become like them.  The first thing you should then wonder is how well you really know a person.

Are there things you don’t want to know about?

Are those things you don’t want to see in them?

Or are they things you don’t want to see in yourself?

As much as you’re saying you want to be like someone by being with them, ignoring or blinding yourself to the truth of who they are is also blinding yourself or ignoring the truth of who you are.

Operating on the truth that your intimate relationships become ones of likeness on some level… You’re saying “I want to become like you” when you form a relationship.  And it’s smart to own up to exactly what you’re saying you want.

Do you really even know the person, and what does that say about your shallow attraction?  The things you want might seem like they’re in someone, when really, they’re nothing like who you are meant to be.

Remembering you are opting in to being like someone else eliminates the blurry waters we wade about in relationships when we say parts of a person can be kept or lost, changed or tolerated.

Who do you want to be like?

Who don’t you want to be like?

Answer these questions for your relationships and you’ll find a sense of clarity and meaning for them pretty quickly.

If you’re attracted to people who do things you believe in our spirit you don’t want to… Maybe they’re placed in front of you to highlight you aren’t as as aligned as you thought.

We should always strive to be the highest versions of ourselves, and to surround ourselves with folks who do the same, and see us as such.  With our focus always on the highest potential of life we keep our priorities straight.

Whose likeness are you ready to be formed in?

Free time

17 Apr

Not having a commitment in place is unscheduled time.

Not having value in place is free time.

All too often, we confuse the meaning of free time with unscheduled time, and fill it with worthless pursuits. Every hour, minute, second of our lives are precious.

We can keep unscheduled time purposeful by doing two things:

1. Think about how much money you might earn during a length of time. Anything you would spend your time doing, needs to cost less than you would earn during that time.

If you earn $30 an hour, would you spend $60 to spend two hours arguing with someone?

2. Now try thinking about how much money you would pay to experience certain things in life, and how long it would take you to earn that money. That amount should inform the amount of time you are willing to spend on that experience.

The average person won’t earn a million dollars in their lifetime. Would you pay a million dollars to become a better you? To remind yourself how precious life and love is?

Let’s value our time and be as frugal and purposeful with it as we are with our finances.

Let love work.

16 Apr

Yesterday evening Pog and I had a powerful moment of reflection.

At some point throughout the course of our day, each of us had felt angry about something unpleasant we found ourselves in the middle of unexpectedly, because we trust each other.  During those points we each showed love and trust, supporting each other and pushing through until it was over.  That night we each talked about it, reflecting on what had happened and laughing about how hilarious it all was in hindsight.

We easily grasped what could be done to keep that piece of historic comedy from repeating itself.

It didn’t matter what we were going through because love is always at the core.  Whatever our individual situation is: Good, bad, great or ugly… We don’t curse, condemn, question, walk away from, or quit on love.

Love just is.

This morning, reading a daily motivating post from Pog, I realized why even a bad moment immediately turns great.

We are love-filled and that’s a hate-killer.

Hate and anger simply can’t live on love.

Love is untouchable.

Love is a shield that protects by smothering and starving everything not made of it.

“’Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, Than a fatted calf with hatred.’1

Our atmosphere consists of what we allow into it. Taking inventory of our atmosphere has to be an ongoing process since it also reflects the state of our spirit as well. A love-filled atmosphere enhances everything in it while one with hate erodes itself from within. We must continue to choose an atmosphere of love that flourishes over one of hate that decomposes. Our spirit will bloom or wither with our choice.

It’s all about faith…”

And love.

Let love work.  

1 Proverbs 15:17 NKJV

Note: Pog is an acronym for the love of my life.  He’s a Powerful Man Of G-d. The “M for man, as a symbol of the human stuff that gets in the way of true love is appropriately silent.

Problem…Perspective…Power.

13 Apr

Today, a misunderstanding led people to get upset, and tears were shed.  It wasn’t until everyone saw from each other’s perspective that things turned around.

Ultimately, the entire exchange was a rough and tumble way of making sure we recognize and value everyone we come into contact with.

A way to make sure we educate ourselves and others to make sure the significance of a given moment or act is understood and honored.

Problem…

…Perspective…

Power.

Every moment we live is a chance to learn and grow.  But we have to have faith in that truth so we can commit to digging for it, unfailing until the lesson is in hand and growth achieved.  Doubting whether the outcome will be good is not a momentary lapse in judgment.  It’s the sign we’ve already accepted failure.  If you are questioning success you already believe failure is a possibility.  Problem…

Every moment, object, human, and story looks completely different depending on the angle you view it from.  All we have to do is step aside.  Take another look.  Step away from ourselves.  Understand another vantage point…  Perspective…

Every moment we live is a miracle.  There is significance and meaning in all we do but we often lose it in our own distraction.  We draw strength from remembering what makes all we do meaningful and significant, has nothing to do with us, and everything to do with something higher than our moment …Power.

Oh, what would happen if every time we hit a wall we thought:

Problem…

…Perspective…

Power.

Image

Angry to Death

12 Apr

Angry to Death

How silly is it to think being angry does anything other than shrink and hurt us? The object of hatred is completely untouched by our emotion. Rest in Peace. -Freehand Ink Drawing April 12, 2012

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Ensnared

12 Apr

Ensnared

Are you really ready to run your race? What have you chained yourself to that’s going to hold you back from speeding across your finish line? Freehand ink drawing, April 12, 2012

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