On Tuesday June 5th at 1:30am life changed forever. That hour marked the beginning of new understanding in trust, love, faith, peace, strength, and grace.
I thought I knew.
On Tuesday June 5th at 1:30am the world began to shift: From certain, promised and planned to nothing and everything, all at once.
I thought I believed.
Hours passed and everything dependable disappeared. Faith was all. Like a free-fall without parachute I fell free, into His goodness, trusting patiently.
I thought I loved.
On Tuesday June 5th, at 1:30am I was reminded that nothing is promised, life is not what it appears. Days dragged and the simple blessing of life, captured in love’s look, touch and word overwhelmed.
I thought I was strong.
On Tuesday June 5th at 1:30am my core liquefied: A boiling rage of power releasing soothing mist, with forceful depths supporting life-giving earth. A week passed. Emptiness settled. Cold, uncaring, blaming. I cried for help.
I thought I had a voice.
Wrenched from me in gasping tears, quieted in shame-filled thoughts, stilled in desperate longing, weighted in fervent prayer, lifted in soaring praise, screaming in anguished pain, a powerful call sounded and my voice left me.
It isn’t mine.
That Tuesday marked the beginning of a new, brilliant journey as unfamiliar and unsettling as ever new beginnings are.
Everything washed clean.
A tremendous reaching from Earth’s core to draw roots deeper, from Heaven’s light to pull, lifting higher.
Just two weeks ago, the most important person in my life was nearly lost and we still don’t know the cause.
We knew why.
When you have power, live in purpose, your life becomes a threat.
When you are threatening, any number of strategies may be used to eliminate that threat: By claiming your life, silencing your voice, holding you hostage, decimating your strength.
When you’re in the middle of the battlefield, it’s easy to lose sight of where your most powerful weapons and soldiers are.
When that happens you retreat to take inventory, identify who’s on your side, rethink your strategy, and come up whoopin’ ass.
That’s how the middle of 2012 unfolded.
I’m looking forward to the rest of the year: Of life.
Grateful for what the year has brought so far.