What a morning. What a day.
It’s not even noon and it’s been wildly eventful. Hopefully a little trip down my memory lane will add some perspective, inspiration even as you go about your day.
Every year, on this date, when the love of my life asked me to be his, it’s like the universe goes crazy. Somebody, ANYbody, STOP THEM! The world seems to be saying.
No such luck.
Spring 2009. When I met this man I refused to date him: He wasn’t my type. He’s an actor.
And I had rules.
No artists. Because I had dated artists. They were flaky, disorganized, undependable, emotionally unstable and illogical. Which of course was because of their gift, not their character. Sigh.
He was working three jobs when we started spending time together. His response when I asked if he knew how to salsa: “Nope, but I’ll learn!” Somehow he found time to learn the heck out of some salsa and carpool with me to salsa clubs with mutual friends… Which meant driving way out of his way to pick up and drop me off. Or, sometimes I would drive if it were raining: His floor leaked. (Don’t ask.)
We were drawn together. Random strangers would tell us how powerful our union was assuming we were married before we started dating.
He wooed me. Woo woo woo. That’s just fun to say.
He courted me with gourmet savory dishes and sweet baked goods. With star-struck eyes and the same loving lilt in his morning greeting. With endless thoughts and conversation, gestures and leadership. With utter cheesy goofiness and a silly side only I can match.
We were in love.
It was all the magical corniness you could never imagine. Literally… A magical candied popcorn dessert he made to impress me.
We were happy. So randomly, incredibly, amazingly happy.
It was all very Disneyland like. Magic and stuff.
But somehow, very empty. Fun, but hollow in that amazing life experience that had no point but memories in Vegas kind of way. We traveled and partied and lived life fully everyday for years.
Winter 2011. Somehow, he changed us.
The most powerful leaders not only have vision, but the ability to place their sight in your eyes. With insight that could only come from God, he led me right into the depth our magic had me too distracted to miss.
The same way the world acts up on our anniversary every year, stuff got crazy. From mundane to major, everything flipped upside down, spinning.
Still, he stood, and I next to him: Still.
Summer 2012. He was passed out in the emergency room. I monitored his vitals frantically with swollen eyes, praying he wouldn’t crash again. My comfort was gone. Nothing we had mattered except his life and nothing we had could secure it. I stared at him constantly, with every second memorizing his details, the tiniest signs of life.
Driving behind the ambulance transport I gave up. There was no medicine, solution or fix I could conjure to make it go away. And I realized in the depths of love for him that he was not, could not be my greatest love, my rock. Being passed out in a hospital bed really clears that up for you.
With this new understanding of how powerful and strong I had to be to truly support him, I felt free. Settled. Full.
So today is “Will you be my lady day” as he calls it. This year, I blocked the calendar against the world: GET OUTTA DODGE! It says. Today is still overflowing with stuff.
I wouldn’t have pictured any of this back when I first decided he wasn’t my type (artist and such) but here we are.