Tag Archives: fashion

The Substance of style: How to be an Olympic Gladiator in a suit

10 Aug

When I was a little girl I knew I was an artist, singer, and fashion designer early on.  Cartooning, a heavy vibrato, and obsessive development of my crayon-infused design portfolio were dead giveaways.

Growing up in a family of activists in an impoverished community left little room for me to explore and embrace the depths of substantive style and artistry.

I get it now.

The way you appear can and should be not only a celebration of who you are, but of purpose, of life and the privilege of rising again, able to clothe yourself in your daily armor.  We’re used to thinking of warriors in steel head-to-toe suits.

Well.

If you’ve been watching the Olympics you’re aware some folks are gladiators in pink sparkles.  Others in speedos.  Others in catsuits, flowery leotards, shorts and tanktops with super-legs to run on.

Olympic competition is their purpose.  They gear up accordingly.

For some of us, our purpose may be being changing lives through business, community work, law, medicine, writing, leadership, health, family, art, or education.  There is no higher or lesser calling: Whatever is your unique purpose is equally important.

For all of us, that means we have to prepare and gear up daily just as an Olympian does.  During competition, every detail from hair, grooming, footwear and clothing is an intentional choice made to enhance performance, optimize competitive edge and advance toward the goal.

I caught glimpses of the open water swim this morning.  Certain my purpose doesn’t involve marathon swimming in green water.  More power to them.

It does however, involve using my voice, written and spoken words, art, style, personality, dance, and life to eradicate injustice by spreading true, Godly love.

Mmmkay.

So how the heck do I suit up for that?

For starters I (like we all do or should), make sure to look good, defined as healthy, well-groomed, appropriate, intentional, comfortable, and expressively, uniquely, you.

I also work to stay physically and spiritually fit, avoid sickness and showcase my style in whatever arena I’m privileged to work in.

Showcasing our style is our version of gearing up, the same way an Olympian would.

Here’s how you suit up:

1. How are you feeling? In pain, happy, sad, determined, excited, angry, alone, tired, hurt… This will affect your performance.  Acknowledge it and if it’s negative, think about how that can be corrected or used to your advantage.  This should show in your gear.

 

2. What is the event?  Whether it’s time with the family, a political meeting, housework, festival, formal dinner, performance, casual work, exercise, salsa dance, shopping, vacation, or sick time… Know what you’re gearing up to do.

 

3. How will it impact your body?  Carefully consider your unique needs in that moment, whether it’s a sore left ankle, particular body type, injured arm, or newly toned limbs.  Also consider if you’ll be standing or sitting for long periods, being physically active, in front of a large audience, in extreme weather, etc..

 

4. Who will be there?  Olympians dress and behave completely differently in practice with coach than they do at finals.  Think about who will be around.  Bankers, friends, strangers, preachers, neighbors, kids…  Practice gear is different than show uniform.

 

5. How do you suit up?  

  • Pick a general type:  Olympic practice, warm-up, competition, award ceremony or interview?  Start by deciding what kind of outfit you’ll need, whether casual, formal, business casual, exercise, beach, cocktail, or other.  Focus on that part of your wardrobe.  No use sifting through business suits for a beach party…  Necessarily.

 

  • Choose a Base:  Given your feelings, event, needs and audience, start with the base which covers you completely: Either a combo of shirt/ sweater with shorts/ pants/ skirt, a jumpsuit, or dress.  Don’t wear a short tight dress if you need to be active, and don’t feel like self-adjusting constantly.  Wear a base that accommodates how you feel, where you going, what your body needs and who will see you.

Black dress with cork wedges and tan wrap for a work presentation.

 

  • Choose a layer: Even in the warmest climates weather shifts.  Whether you need to adjust for increasing heat or cold, add a weather layer.  This might be a heavy coat and sweater, light cardigan or breezy wrap.  It doesn’t have to be neutral either.  High-contrast colors, especially with bright solids are fun.  Lay these out together so you can see colors and fabrics overlapping.

Layered a denim jacket and wraps over a long dress with knee-high boots for a (Cali) winter stroll.

 

  • Select shoes: With that in mind, select your shoes based on feelings, needs, event, and audience. Maybe you’ll be sitting all day but broke your toe.  Choose wisely.  Again, don’t be afraid to go bold.  Shoes do not have to match your belt and bag perfectly.  They just have to work with your other outfit elements.  And make you smile when you glimpse your feet. :)

Festive. :)

 

  • Choose a purse:  Keeping the 1-4 in mind, pick something that accents or blends with your outfit. Be mindful of the size, utility and look.  Chain link straps on hot summer days are dangerous.  Sequined bags in board meetings are distracting.  Always, choose to express yourself.
  • Accessorize: Now for the extra fun.  With your outfit so far in mind, pick jewelry and hair accessories to express how you feel.  Olympic synchronized swimmers and gymnasts accessorize with makeup to accent their face, an expressive part of performance.  Others die hair, wear unique haircuts, tattoos or jewelry.

Vibrant scarf, bold necklace and chunky earrings accent a flowy white dress for work.

 

  • Accessory selection:  Most important, accessories draw attention to what’s displaying them, so know what complements you.  Be risky.  Wear all black with bright, heavy layers of colorful jewelry.  Contrast colors.  Layer up rings or bracelets.  Wear a bright flower or sparkling band in your hair.  Be delicate and sweet or bold and powerful.

 

Other tips and encouragement:

Shopping tips

Clothing etiquette

Wardrobe basics

Lightening up the mood at work on a big deadline day.

Have a beautiful, awesome day being YOU!

The Substance of Style: Shopping tips

31 Jul

Style matters.  It’s another way to communicate.
Don’t believe me?
Think about the most ridiculous outfit you’ve ever seen.  Imagine the POTUS wearing it while delivering the State of the Union address.
Style communicates.  Style matters.
We owe it to ourselves to demonstrate care and concern for how we express ourselves.
It’s not easy to develop a sense of style, and unfortunately fashion trial-and-error is pretty tricky.  These handy posts will help you identify pitfalls and prepare for style glory, all in wondrous privacy:
Today we tackle shopping, which should be fun, not torture.
GENERAL SHOPPING TIPS:
First, before you go…

  • Let go of your expectations.  You’re looking for clothes, not your long lost brother.  Nothing you do or don’t find will make your day, event, interview, date, appearance etc., any better or worse.
  • Don’t shop for an occasion. That’s like grocery shopping when you’re hungry.  If you must, first figure out what you already have that works  and get excited about that.  Then, go shopping.  Give yourself time, and be okay with not finding what you want.
  • Let go of your size worries.  Fashion is a global market, and true sizes change with seasons, stores, designers, and type of garment.  If you have body image problems that’s a self-love issue.  Money can’t buy you love.  Clothing should fit.  Period.  If you squeeze a size two body into toddler jeans it will look bad.  Get over it.
  • Don’t invite your spouse unless you’re buying lingerie or swimsuits.
  • Don’t shop with anyone unless they’re patient, have a good sense of style, and are brutally honest.
  • Don’t shop if you ain’t ready to spend.  Know what you can afford and set your budget before you leave.  Window shop only as research for something expensive.
  • Wear an outfit easy to remove and undergarments easy to wear with what you might try on.
  • Develop and maintain a sense of what’s comfortable and complements your figure as it is.  If you’re not sure, experiment with different shapes.  See how it looks and feels when clothing fits your waist/hips/neck/arms/bust/legs/height differently and take note of what’s best.

In the store…

  • Hold your hand against a garment to make sure it looks great against your skin.
  • Grab everything you like or that catches your attention, in whatever size you think will fit.
  • If you’re not sure whether it’s your size grab more than one.
  • Try on types of clothing, not outfits (tops only, then dresses, pants, etc.)
  • Do not fight to put on a piece of clothing.
  • Sort as you try on clothes: Yes, Maybe and No.
DECIDING WHAT’S BEST: For the yes and maybe piles, answer these questions.
  • Does it look good?
  • Does it fit right? (Check for snugness and length when sitting and bending over; length of cuffs and hemline, gathering or puckering in weird places.)
  • Would I take care of it?

Um.  If the answers to those first questions are no, it should be in the no pile.  You no buy.

  • Is this awesome?
  • Do I already have something like this?
  • When would I wear this?
  • What would I wear this with?

If the answers to the last few questions are resoundingly wishy-washy it’s a maybe.  

DECIDING WHAT TO BUY: Once you’ve tried on everything, look at your yes pile and add up the cost and tax.  If it’s not affordable, whittle down until it is.   If it is affordable, consider the maybe’s, whittling down until within budget.

If ever you’re not 150% certain about buying, leave it.  For a week or two.  If you still feel unsure, forget it.

By the by, affordable is different for everyone.  For me, if it costs more than $15 it deserves a serious re-thinking.

Most of my clothing, formal wear included, costs between $10 and $20:

$10 dress. I have four.

$15 floor length dress.

Jacket-Gift, $10 red dress, scarf as belt-Gift, earrings-gift.

Dress, $15. Wraps (I’m wearing a white one and a tan one) 3 for $12. Earrings $2. P.O.G. Priceless.

$10 sweater as a beach cover-up. $10 hat.

$12 dress, $15 cowboy hat… From CVS.

 

$15 dress

Special tips for shopping in the Garment District, at Festivals, and at Inexpensive boutiques:

1- Do NOT stick to the most well-known shopping streets.  They’re more expensive and don’t necessarily carry the best stuff.  Vendors will typically have clothing, footwear, jewelry, handbags, and other accessories.
2- Circle before you actually shop.  Many of vendors carry similar items for different prices, so wander until you feel you’ve hit the least expensive one.
3-Don’t buy in the first store you visit, you can go back.
4- Carry cash (So you can…)
5- BARGAIN: These folks will reduce listed prices by up to 40%.  Ask them whether they’ll cut down the price if you buy more than one item, or (my favorite) pretend you don’t have enough cash on you to pay for the item.  Conveniently, you should pretend you only have the exact amount you’d like to pay.  Walk out when you want to close the deal and they’ll usually stop you and acquiesce.
6- Wear comfortable shoes.
7- Go early to avoid crowds and depleted stock.
HAVE FUN!!!

The substance of style: Wardrobe basics

30 Jul

I worked at a clothing store during my multiple-job phase in college, and am glad I can look back fondly on those (ahem) unique work moments and lessons.

Por ejemplo.

Work moment: Greeting folks with a cheerful, excited grin led to apologies from confused customers.

Lesson: Genuine joy in shopping malls is completely disarming.

Work moment:  Towering high heels.

Lesson: Hurt feet.

Work moment:  Successfully negotiated my first salary increase as a counteroffer to a promotion that would have actually lowered my take-home pay.

Lesson:  Know your worth.

It was fun, and because I cared less about selling and more about people and style, I was darn good at it.

My favorite story is about a kind, older woman who came in with two multicolored printed skirts, asking me to find one shirt to match them both.  Hot mess.    One skirt was black, yellow, blue, and green or some such craziness.  I think the other was brown, red, orange, and purple.  Initially I thought she was some kind of quality control mole.  Then I got the sense she didn’t really want one shirt.  She really just wanted to be done shopping because all things clothing and style were wildly frustrating.

I patiently and lovingly worked with her until after the store closed, hushing my coworkers, who were as annoyed with this woman’s shopping as she was when she entered the store.  She spent quite a bit and left the store overjoyed, with a new wardrobe.

So here’s the free, e-version of how to build a solid wardrobe.  In the spirit of substantive style, that means a collection of clothing that allows the wearer to feel prepared to face life everyday, looking good: Healthy, well-groomed, appropriate, intentional, comfortable, and expressively, uniquely, you.  We continue the style series today with the wardrobe checklist.

Mind you, this checklist is a guide, not a straitjacket.  Whatever you choose should be flattering, and  expressive of your unique self.  And, shopping tips will be the next post in this series.  Shopping can actually be fun.

Above all, everything in your wardrobe should make you look good.  It helps to choose items that are versatile, meaning you could wear it more than once, and differently.

  • Coats: Formal- The kind you might wear over a suit.  Informal- Anything warm and fun.
  • Dresses: Formal- Whatever says “I’m going to the ball.”  All about you.  Informal- Whatever says “I feel pretty.”

    An “I feel pretty” dress

  • Suit: Find one you’re comfortable wearing, that looks good on you.  Buy it.

Pantsuit and top with a ribbon belt.

  • Slacks: These are not jeans.  They are not stretch pants.
  • Jeans: These should fit you, and be comfortable.
  • Shorts: These should also fit you, and be comfortable.  You should have at least one pair you could wear to a family-friendly event.
  • Blouses:  A blouse is a nicer version of a top.  It’s usually looser and slightly more formal.
  • Tops: Casual shirts that look nice on you without making babies ogle your chest.  A wrap will handily rid you of that fashion casualty.

Satin top. And beret. Finger snap.

  • Purses:  Whatever size and style you need, that will match other stuff you wear.  If you don’t need one, more power to you.  Don’t ask your friend for lotion/chapstick/gum/etc., or to carry yours.
  • Shoes: Formal- Heels or no, a dressy shoe is a necessity.

  • Tennis shoes- Even if you think you won’t work out.  You’ll need them.  Own one pair.  Just one.  Casual- Not tennis shoes.  Not dressy.  Not flip-flops.
  • Slip:  Any dress made of thin, floaty material needs one underneath.  Showing your underparts is not a good look.
  • Brassieres:  Strapless- If this isn’t comfortable, dresses without straps shouldn’t be either.  Your choice.  Light and dark- The idea for your underclothes is that 90% of the time, they are underneath clothes.  And not seen.  Have choices and wear whichever color is less visible, be it white, tan, black, whatever.
  • Swimsuit- The time is now.  The perfect weight and perfect tan is now.  Don’t make excuses for not enjoying the ocean, sun, pool.  Find something, a skirted one-piece, pinup bikini, whatever and make sure you look good in it.  And make sure it isn’t see-through or baggy when wet.
  • Pajamas: Remember when we were little and slumber parties meant you literally put on cool pajamas and ate popcorn and played games with your friends?  Those are the kind of pajamas you should own as an adult.  At some point in your life you will be around another adult who isn’t your spouse and appropriate sleepwear will be warranted.
  • Fitness gear: Again, if you think you won’t workout think again.  Just because you’re getting sweaty doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wear the right workout support, pants, shirt, socks, shoes… That match and aren’t stained or full of holes.
  • Skirts:  Long- Not three fingers above your knees long.  Sit cross-legged on the floor without showing anything long.  Ankles.  Medium- Below the knees but not ankle-grazing.

Long skirt.

  • Short- Whatever allows you to still look good and be comfortable.
  • Accessories: Wraps, jewelry, headbands, barrettes, hats etc. are all extra-fun ways to express yourself.  Be bold and daring.  Use big colors, sparkles, and fun.

The substance of style: Clothing etiquette

16 Jul

Talking about looking good, meaning: Healthy, well-groomed, appropriate, intentional, comfortable, and expressively, uniquely, you continues today with more encouragement and some helpful guidelines.

I’d like to think like all art, fashion is one that isn’t always about convention or rules.  That said, some things work and others just don’t.

Here are some rules to follow when it comes to fashion, and why:

No apathy:  Who says, “Well no one’s going to see me anyway, why worry about what I have on?”  You will see you.  Skipping showers isn’t healthy, nor is refusing to think about what you wear.  Plus, fashion is like a wearable toy.  You can play with the texture of the fabric, the flash of jewelry, the curl of hair, sheen of a wrap.

For my 30th birthday party, I chose a dress that was comfortable to dance in, and would look stunning through the night: A wrinkle-proof metallic fabric, with lots of fun design detail… Like pockets!

Speaking of toys, I have to be careful wearing certain shoes lest I stare down at my feet, distracted.  Anyway.  No need to overdress all the time.  But certainly don’t make the mistake of devaluing yourself in the process.  Fashion and style is a very healthy celebration of you.  Why bother grooming and caring for your body and spirit if you’re going to clothe yourself in garments of anything other than love?

No knees on stage:  I began singing at an early age and my dear friend and longtime choir conductor told me to wear something onstage that didn’t show my knees.  It maketh the sense:  Stages are typically at or above eye level, which means the odds of you showing more than a knee cap are pretty high.  No wonder the advice stuck.

I first wore this dress during a high school performance: No knees on stage.

Yes, a lot of pop stars currently perform in their underwear.  The rule stands.

Audience:  Most of us don’t just talk to anyone we see without a basic attempt to know who we’re addressing.  Why? Because it’s impossible to communicate with a void.  Fashion is an expression.  Consider not only what you are saying in what you wear, but also who you’re expressing it to, and how they might receive it.

Wearing a mini-dress with skirt, flat loafers and layered wraps for a casual workday into evening dinner in Italy with colleagues.

Are the sweat pants the best choice for your interview with the law firm?  Is the flowy salsa dress the best choice for feeding the homeless?  The low cut top and short shorts ideal for church? Mini dress and heels best for the grassy picnic?  Each of these choices says something.  Be aware, and choose what best suits your purpose.

Matching:  I say, there are only two times to think about matching.  With monochromatic outfits.  And shoes.  Always awkward when those don’t pair up properly, I think.

Red, white, black, denim, and flip flops: It works.

Don’t wear five different blacks.  Or whites.  Or greens.  Five different textures maybe.  But colors should be consistent.   Otherwise, choose bold and different colors.  Like red and turquoise.  Purple and lime green.  Brown and orange.   When you wear a mix of colors, consider anchoring them by pairing them up.  Blue shoes with a red dress?  Add a blue ring so it seems intentional.

Highlights:  As in life, anything you give attention to or feed grows, appears bigger.  Don’t waste time worrying about hiding perceived flaws real or imagined.  Instead, highlight the great things you love about yourself, whether that’s your right eyeball, legs, kneecaps (not on stage), left toe, arms, or earlobes.

This mini-dress with a flowing, draped bodice highlights the legs without calling attention to tummy, arms, or back.

Celebrate that.  If you’re purposeful about growing and developing as a person, you’ll address the flaw when you’re meant to, by fixing it or accepting it.

Selective exposure: When it is appropriate to be less covered up based on your audience, you can help curb an overwhelming eye-assault by carefully choosing what will or won’t be exposed.

Wearing a miniskirt with sweater to a karaoke bar (stage-free.)

For example, if you highlight your shape in something form-fitting, you might choose a higher neckline, or lower hemline.  Fashion is a dance of the eyes and senses for the wearer and observer:  You wouldn’t Argentine tango with any old stranger.

Yes, the dress was racy being both backless and short. Balance: A neckline that came clear up to my collarbone.

Keep that in mind when choosing what you expose.

Comfort:  Style is about love and self-care.  Willful discomfort Does. Not. Com. Pute.  To be comfortable, consider your environment and activity.    Will it be hot, cold, or unpredictable?  Will you be standing, sitting, walking or dancing for long periods?  Will you need to be physically active and get a little dirty?

Jeans and a dark, alluring top meant I was ready to help setup for a party, and to enjoy the event in style through the night.

I honestly used to be the stilettos everywhere girl.  No more.  Thanks to a football injury (rather heroically sustained might I say), I can’t punish my extremities like I used to.

Carry stilettos if you must.

Above all else, the number one fashion rule to follow:

Aim to express who you are and how you feel, in your own style.  Every day.

Are you feeling somber and focused?  Wear a dark-toned, fitted outfit with angular or metallic accessories.

Fun, and high-spirited?  Wear bright printed colors in fabrics that move.  Accent with colorful accessories.

Enjoy!!!

Shopping tips and wardrobe basics coming up next.

Expressing yourself in style: Part II

9 Jul

In the same way what we say matters, how we look matters.

Both are outward reflections of spirit.

Our aesthetic goal should be to focus on looking good, meaning: Healthy, well-groomed, appropriate, intentional, comfortable, and expressively, uniquely, you.  That’s really all a sense of style is: Being intentionally, comfortably, expressively, and uniquely you.  

Of course, style is yours to uncover.  Some of us like a sporty look, others professional, still others very formal and others edgy.

This style series is meant to encourage you, both by dispelling the myth that style and self-care are shallow or irrelevant concerns, and by demonstrating looking good doesn’t have to an obsessively overwhelming concern.

So you have a sense of style.  Or don’t (we’ll explore more later).  But you’re open to discovering new things and enhancing the old.

Wonderful!

Except, that can be tricky if you don’t know how to deal with certain challenges and aren’t too keen on exploring the fun of fashion trial and error fun during your adult years.  Not for the faint of heart.

Below are a few stylish tips I’ve learned over the years that help you look good just about anytime.  Remember, looking good is: Healthy, well-groomed, appropriate, intentional, comfortable, and expressively, uniquely, you.

Hair:  It’s tough to look intentional, comfortable and well-groomed when it seems you’ve been wrestling with bears and blow-dryers all morning.  Going from the gym to the boardroom is very much a matter of the right hairstyle.  Essentially, if you can find a style that doesn’t war with your natural hair texture and develop a functional relationship with it, you’re on the right track.

I embraced my curls, and my naturally kinky texture because I realized with a really tight curl, you can dance, exercise, sleep, toss, get windblown all you want and still look like you styled your hair that morning… Why turn back?

The key to my tight curls is the wet set.  I’ve tried this on all hair types and races: Every single hair type responds to the wet set.  The size of roller dictates the size of curl you’ll have, until hair is wet again.  Choose carefully.

Fans:  Nothing says health-alert, frazzled and out of control like pouring sweat.  These are such a wonderful, classic, feminine way to keep cool at all times.

I’m rarely without one.

They’re quiet and small enough to use in a meeting, in church, at a movie, on a date.

And they’re so inexpensive! Most Asian grocers sell them, and if you buy sandalwood material they have a lovely scent.  Spray your favorite perfume on others and enjoy a heavenly breeze whenever you want.

Wraps:  It’s hard to look appropriate and be taken seriously when your neckline looks like a Hooters ad.

Take away the fuss of adjusting and self-checking with a wrap.  Most wraps are 5-6 feet long and 2 to 3 feet wide.  They often have fringe on the ends and come in a wide variety of colours, prints, and textures.  Most urban garment districts sell them in bulk very inexpensively so I buy different colors and wear 2 or 3 at a time.  Wear them with any and everything: a dress, tank top and jeans, suit.

You never have to worry about exposing more than you planned with one of these nearby.

And they’re all-weather: For warmth, wear wools or knits, or go sheer and light to stay cool and covered.

Mini-dresses:  It’s always awkwardly inappropriate and uncomfortable to flash your legs and etc. at some innocent victim.  There are places for short hemlines.  And more often, not.  You can wear a mini-dress anywhere appropriately by simply wearing a longer skirt layered underneath.  Choose a complementary/matching color and be mindful the skirt beneath has a smooth waist.  Adding a belt perfects the look. (No photos for the short skirt fix.)

Hats:  Grooming isn’t always fail-proof, and whether your hair looks perfect or not, hats are an expressive way to top off a look.  Disheveled hair, squinting eyes and peeling skin are not signs of inner peace.  You can shield your lovely skin and eyes from the sun, and if needed, make an imperfect hairstyle look intentional.  Wearing a festive fedora, beret, cowboy hat or sunhat works in every casual setting.

Hats can also eliminate worry about your style coming undone when you’ll be dealing with extreme weather.

Well-groomed:  Finally, these two beauty products should be a staple for anyone who likes to appear put-together.  More than a decade of trial and error doesn’t lie:

Smudge-proof, waterproof, self-sharpening eyeliner.  Is there any more treacherous part of makeup than eyeliner?  I don’t wear much else daily at all.  No need to worry about racoon-eyes, smudges, or broken lines with these guys.

Having tried M.A.C, Chanel, Lancome, Smashbox, and more, I swear by Maybelline or Revlon for staying power:  The photo below was taken in humid Jamaica, after sleeping through the night with eyeliner on.

More quick tips for hair, etc.

Expressing yourself in style

6 Jul

Don’t believe the lie that looks don’t matter. They do.  People, art, fashion, natural wonders… Aesthetics, the way we look matters.  Appearance is a powerful and meaningful tool you should master and wield responsibly.

But.

Don’t believe the lie that when it comes to looks, a specific standard of beauty matters.  It doesn’t.  There is none.  Looking good is about looking healthy, well-groomed, appropriate, intentional, comfortable, and expressively, uniquely, you.

We have to take responsibility for how we look.

It’s important to hold ourselves responsible not only for the maintenance, development, growth, use and impact of our spirit and mind, but also for our physical appearance… In all arenas.

Think about it.

As adults, we’ve all developed (or are working to develop) social skills that allow us to function seamlessly in the different spaces of our life with different people: Family, friends, work, home, events, church, courtroom, grocery store, meetings, hospitals, etc.

Our appearance in each of those spaces matters just as much as the way we communicate and carry ourselves.

We would dress and behave completely differently at a festival than we would at a funeral.  I’d hope.

So.

Having acknowledged the importance of appearance, today we deal with a myth:

The myth: The idea that we ladies can’t be both well-groomed and grounded, fun and  well-coiffed, alluring and appropriate, active and poised.

Below are some pictures of yours truly in completely different places and outfits embracing looking healthy, well-groomed, appropriate, intentional, comfortable, and expressively, uniquely, me.

What I wear is a window into my spirit.  For now, it’s very modern pinup: that means red lacquered nails, big curly hair, dramatic eyeliner, and a feminine, alluring, classic wardrobe full of wraps, color and interesting accessories.  During my early teen years it was pretty dark: Black, baggy clothing, dark red nail polish and lipstick.  In college it was Afro-chic.  Maybe when I get older there will be a buzz-cut, boots and lace involved.  Who knows?

At an amusement park

Dinner cruise

On a dinner cruise

On a wine tasting trip

Um. In a tree. (Camping trip)

Red nails, big hair.

Now… My lifestyle is that of an executive, worshiper, dancer, housekeeper, artist and cook.  Regardless of what I’ve got on, I spend a whole lotta time every week working, crying, sweating, hair-whipping, messiness, and washing.

And, I refuse to spend a ton of time primping.

That means a glam look with a lotta not-so glam activities, and very little time to worry.

Note: Worry, like shame, guilt and regret is both worthless and wildly expensive.

Avoid at all costs.

Over the years I’ve uncovered simple ways to mesh personal style with lifestyle, maintaining comfort and poise.

The key is to remember that whether you like it or not, the way you look is expressive.  It says something.  So be intentional.  You think before you speak, right?  If not, you should consider it.

Take care of your health because you love you.  Display that care wisely and lovingly.  Put together your outfits like you’re creating a still life or arranging a centerpiece on a table: From head to toe, hair to nails it should be clear you care about you.

Honestly, not all of us do care.  We may workout and eat right but hate the idea of makeup or heels.  No matter how we choose to express ourselves stylistically, we still have to own the fact that we are sending a message with our appearance.

More to come.

Birthday brunch

Aside

Reflection: What do you block yourself from receiving because of how you feel about the giver?

24 Apr

This past weekend Pog* and I went suit-shopping.  I got creative with my suggestions, he loved them, and left happy and surprised by his choices.  Monday, I tried on a ring received as a gift years ago, that I’d never worn.  When I asked his input he encouraged me to wear it, I agreed, and later was pleased with my choice when glimpsed in the mirror.

I’m wearing the ring again today and as I look at it, I think… If he didn’t trust me and love the dickens out of me, he might not have even heard my suit suggestion, much less considered agreeing with it, decided to act, and acted.

When we are led to step outside of our comfort zones for our own good, what we think of the person leading us there matters.  If we don’t trust them, like them, or love them we may miss a great opportunity for learning, growth and even change.

Scary thing is, life change and growth is much more complicated than fashion.  Putting on a pinstriped suit or acrylic ring has nothing on overcoming fear and self-doubt or accepting God’s love.

What we receive depends so much upon how much we love and trust the giver.

This is why it’s so important to love God purely.  When we doubt and question the spirit of change and growth, which challenges us, stretches and changes us, we hurt ourselves.

We shrink ourselves.

When we’re unwilling to change, we owe it to ourselves to question whether we’re focusing so hard on past hurt or mistrust… We’ve blinding ourselves from seeing good for what it is.

Remember to pull yourself, your feelings, your resistance out of scenarios that challenge you.  Focus on what you might learn, how you might grow.  Then step forward, confident, trusting.

 

*Pog is the love of my life: He’s a Powerful Man Of God, and the M for man is silent, representing the human, superficial stuff that comes between the Power Of God.

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