Lovey-doveys often annoy the bejeebers out of folks. Everyone knows one. They’re the antithesis of the duo that makes you wonder why they torture each other by staying together, and what the global impact of their hated coexistence might be. Flowers wilt and skies darken as they approach.
Lovey-doveys annoy because neither party has much limitation when it comes to frequent and inappropriate PDA, and there’s a lot of helpless infatuation floating around. One of my best buds calls it twice-marinated-Korean-bbq-tenderness. There’s a tagline for these folks: Making people everywhere nauseous since (insert anniversary year here).
What’s really funny is, PDA is just the wing on the fly on the tip of the iceberg for them. So if what you see makes your gag reflex kick in, imagine when you’re not around. Also typical though less acknowledged, lovey-doveys genuinely seem to be flippin’ ecstatic with each other. This kick-starts not-so-good feelings for those of us who need more time with our journals and near-tears of joy for those who love love.
It’s time to admit that if folks learned a thing or two from these couples the world would be a better place.
Profundity and stuffs.
‘Cause too many folks flub up simple things after they’ve found someone they love. Huh? Assuming you love someone, you know them. Well. It baffles me how folks can flub up a birthday, holiday, date or even a simple “Thank you.” Then they get all fussy and stingy with their love like it’s love’s fault you bought your basketball-obsessed boyfriend tickets to the Icecapades for Christmas. (Yes, that was both too ritardish and random to be a true reference.)
Not flubbing things up with someone you love is so simple: Show them you love them.
To be fair, in today’s world of relationship sabotage many have been conditioned to reject displays of love… True romance… Like bacon and non-fried foods.
If you’re a literate adult and still really only interested in getting bukkit-nekkit with everyone except the one you care about, two points before you leave: (1) You don’t really wanna read my opinions on relationships at this point in your life. (2) A gentle reminder: http://www.epigee.org/guide/stds.html
All others, ignore the nauseous nay-sayers and remember these love nuggets of romance.
1) Dance together. You don’t have to be the next reality show star, or even have rhythm to dance with the love of your life. Dancing frees the spirit and uplifts the soul… When you do it without self-consciousness or judgment. So do it. Or find someone you can with.
2) Talk together. If you need to, find discussion prompts. Or someone you’re compatible with.
3) Drink each other in. Learn, love, enjoy, and rediscover everything about them. Or find someone you want to do that with.
4) Enjoy nature. At some point, no matter how much either of you loves and can afford luxury, your relationship and dagnabbit your souls (thunderclap) will suffer… If you can’t fully appreciate the simple, priceless luxuries of life. Nature’s are best: Mountain views, oceans, clouds, meadows, lakes… Figure it out and take it in together. Or add life-long therapy and single-life to your list of necessary luxuries.
5) Recognize and engineer beautiful moments. Your recognition tools: An eye for anything that allows you to be still together right in its midst. Whether home, the beach, an amusement park, a club… A niche of stillness is all you need. Your engineering tools: Creativity, sense of adventure, Lover’s Toolkit. More on that later…
6) Garnish life with the extraordinary. Underscoring number 5 but it’s so critical… Movie night? Smuggle in pizza and a cocktail. Dinner? Feed each other on a picnic blanket. Conference call? Take it, nekkit… Busy day? Squeeze in private lunchtime… In the car. Gardening? Start with a champagne toast. Exercising? Stretch together. Then… Stretch together.
7) Find the silver lining and put a spotlight on that sukka. Perfect dates fail miserably in the eyes of love-free pessimists. Horrifying dates become romantic lifetime memories in the eyes of loving optimists. Which would you prefer?
8) Create, update and use your library. You should be learning about them every day. You should also be retaining that information and applying it. Simple touches like a favorite color, craving, or childhood memory turn everyday stuffs into stuff of legends.
9) Put your best foot forward. Who better to go hard in the paint for (Other than yourself?) Straighten up your place for them, light some candles, wear their favorite scent, dress up for them, arrange that fried chicken just so. For them. They will recognize the effort and appreciate that little bit that shows you care. And return the favor. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Praise and glory, praise and glory.
10) Appreciate them. Can’t underscore this enough. You’re in love with the person of your choosing. You love every unique and wonderful thing about them, including the way they love you. Act like it! Or find someone who fits that bill. More detail here: http://tinawatkins.wordpress.com/2010/07/13/let-me-see-it/
Anywhere, anytime you can do this, do. Or quit fakin’ the funk and get funky with it.
Suddenly I’ve an urge for barbecue.