Tag Archives: spirituality
Aside

Problem perspective: Relax and let challenges show off how awesome you are.

12 Feb

Problem perspective:  Relax and let challenges show off how awesome you are. 

A couple weeks ago, my awesome boyfriend shared his most recent, rather horrifying audition experience.  Mind you, I say he’s awesome not only because we’re all best friends forever and such mush…

He’s truly one of those people who just shines, especially when stuff gets truly dark.

Por ejemplo.

He’s talking about this crazy audition, and as he’s sharing the tale there’s nothing but peace, stillness and mild amusement in his attitude.

Apparently this audition was a hot mess, and the people running it were wildly flustered, way behind schedule.  He described how much he really wanted to just take the time to soothe their nerves, how frustrated he was that there’s not enough space for that in the audition process, and how encouraging he was anyway.

Yes, mind you: He’s the actor trying to book the job and he was more at ease than the casting directors were, wanting to help them out.

Then, he describes how the actual audition was rather clumsily setup: He and the other actor were to read into a camera from cue cards… That were in the opposite direction from the lens (the perfect set up for a tennis-match read).  And the cards didn’t show which actor was to read which line.

Unfazed, he plunged into his encouragement-fused audition, becoming a tad confused when the actor portraying his wife in the audition stumbled over the words.

He quickly realized from her hesitation and heavy accent, English wasn’t her first language.  Yep.  No matter: He turned up the charm, encouraging her as well…

And booked the job.

That entire mess could easily have contributed to the mindset of defeat, prideful judgment, or any number of other things…

Instead, because of who he is, and where he draws his peace and strength from, it was just another opportunity to shine, simply by being himself.

So today, I share another lesson learned:

Be careful of what you perceive to be a problem in your life.

The reality is, every challenge you face is a chance for you to overcome it.  And in overcoming it, a chance to show just how much more awesome you are in victory than you were before you faced that challenge.

Glory to glory.

The problems in our lives are God’s way of taking the spotlight into His hands and rewriting the script to show a glimpse of the greatness in you no ordinary audition can uncover.

Let Him work.

“The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.”

Why entertainers (including Beyoncé) should expose themselves more.

5 Feb

I watched the Beyoncé Superbowl performance and was struck by a few things:

  • She’s amazing.
  • I know a LOT (okay almost all) of her songs.  Word for word.  In harmony.
  • Apparently Beyoncé, along with Scandal, the presidential campaign, hate crimes and Chick Fil-A, is among the domestic news topics that expose the broad and opposing range of my social media connections.  During Superbowl I got everything from scripture to stripper references to praise to technical criticism to frustration.
  • Without substance, amazingness is a lot like a shallow action flick.  It’s entertaining, but you expect little or nothing by way of plot, depth or meaning.
  • Somewhere out there is a slumber-party video of me really badly imitating the Single Ladies music video wearing baggy, stripey satin pajamas and a feathered cardboard crown.
  • If they’d done a well-timed release of a Bey-Fit workout DVD to her and her hubby’s music, complete with co-ed workout team, the Carters would be making millions more.  Right now.  Who do I write to about that?
  • There don’t seem to be many pop stars around who don’t sing in panties any more.
  • I’m old.  Apparently I’ve reached the age where I call things like I see ‘em and am certain my sight is clear.

While I can appreciate shallow entertainment for what it is… It’s hard to understand why entertainers -including filmmakers, actors, musicians, artists, and the incredible Beyoncé as well- who are so brilliant, talented, edgy and great-looking… Would produce anything shallow intentionally.

Why would you want people to have low expectations?

Especially when you’re set apart.

Like, literally.

Folk like me, and Joe Blow, and Sandy Smith are set apart too.  But it’s far easier for us to pretend no one notices or expects much.

But if reported millions upon millions have their eyes on you, it’s unequivocally because they see more than you, something remarkable in you: Your creator.  All the shallow entertainment stuff is a distraction.

As costumes get skimpier and filming gets racier, I can’t help but lament over the little girls idolizing and mimicking their favorite singer… Men lusting or fantasizing about another man’s wife… The perverted confusion of using sexuality as a power statement… The self-defeating paradox of aspiring entertainers being held to the low bar of overexposure set by their counterparts…

I wonder.

What are we feeding?  Who’s responsible?  What and who’s expendable?  What’s sacred anymore?  While I’m thankful for the 1st amendment right that allows me to even share these thoughts, I’m sorrowful that our country clamors for a culture of poison, calling it delicacy.

How is an artist to see more from the billions of consumers and how are billions going to see more from artists?

The most popular stuff in America is what’s worst for you.  Music, movies, food, novels, news, clothing, products, vehicles, advertisements too often glorify sex, violence, manipulation, hatred, gluttony…

How did we get to the place where we want what’s bad for us?  Where we think it’s funny to mock someone’s pain or suffering and ignore our aching?  Where we don’t care who’s watching and are ignorant to our bondage?  Where it’s not our job, our concern, our role, our life or anyone else’s?

We’re in this together.

In this big world, shrunken by global internet, media, economics and military interests, every one matters.

And in this big world, it would be truly powerful if every person who had a platform of listening ears and watching eyes, believed they had a responsibility to use that platform to uplift their audience.

But it doesn’t seem like producers, filmmakers, songwriters, musicians, actors, or authors believe that.  And it doesn’t seem like sex, violence, slavery, perversion, spirituality or anything else is worthy of sensitivity or care.

Some use the excuse that it isn’t up to them, they have no control.  Others use the excuse that it isn’t their style.  Others say it’s not what people want to see or hear.

It should be.

I don’t know where exactly folks think their creativity and success comes from, but it ain’t fans, history, drugs, alcohol, fashion or TV.

So how exactly do you place responsibility for the management and shaping of your gift anywhere but with the One who gave it to you?

And is that God, who blessed you with talent, served by uncovering layer after layer of flesh?  Or by exposing layer after layer of spirit?

It’s scary to be truly naked.

Maybe that’s why so many artists hide behind fortresses of distracting shock value disguised as culture, art, entertainment.

We need a world where our leaders consistently expose increasing spiritual depth and inspire us to do the same.  

Where we build on the strength of the artists, leaders, and humans who came before us by deepening the quality of what we do, through a deepened connection with the source of creativity.

Not by increasing shock value for an increasingly tolerant and numbed audience we’re supposed to be healing through our God-given talents.

Temptation ain’t coercion. If you’re tempted it’s because there was a desire inside you for it in the first place.

31 Jan

Recently I shared about the enemy within, and how dangerous it is to live in denial.
It’s a weak, disadvantaged position to deny and confuse what temptation really is, and approach it as though we’re helplessly forced into something we want no part of… Instead of masterfully commanding our lives like the rulers of the Earth we are born to be.
So, to be clear:
Tempt: To entice to do wrong by promise of pleasure or gain.

Coerce: To restrain or dominate by force.

I hate avocado.  A thousand perfect avocados won’t tempt me.  I could be coerced to eat one.  And I’d still hate avocados.
I do love chocolate.  The perfect chocolate soufflé will be darn tempting.  I’d have to be coerced not to eat it.  My family history of diabetes does indeed cause me to restrain myself.

We can only be tempted by what we already want.  Knowing something is bad for you doesn’t mean your heart won’t desire it.  Which isn’t a huge deal when it comes to food preference.

But there are things in our lives that are a very big deal, that can kill us if we don’t master them.  We can’t master anything if we don’t know what we’re dealing with.

It’s dangerous to confuse temptation for coercion.

Temptation is attractive, pulling you toward something you want.  Coercion is combative, forcing you to do something against your will.  These are two completely different challenges with different solutions: One within you, the other without.

Temptation is solved by finding and fixing whatever’s broken inside that makes us want what isn’t good for us.  Coercion is solved by identifying the threat and either staying the heck away from it or fighting back.

It’s dangerous to think that because your mind knows something your heart wants is wrong, you don’t really want it.  You cannot be forced to desire or do something you actually want to do: You are willing and complicit.

Responding to that in confusion is more dangerous than the external attacks you face, where you really do have to fight back.  Confused, you’ll respond with a losing strategy that weakens you at the same time it strengthens your wrongful desire.

Hot mess.

That’s what happens when you just face the temptation and resist it, or escape, running in the opposite direction without dealing with the root problem:  Why you want something bad for you.  Ultimately, resisting or avoiding just makes the problem worse.

Only as upright as your circumstances, you’ll still want it, but now you’re playing games to sidestep landmines.

That is the losing game of avoiding temptation: I just won’t go near such-and-such, won’t buy blah-blah-blah, won’t do blankety-blank… You can’t win because the problem is not it.  It’s you.  Wanting it.  And playing games with it can actually deepen its hold over you.

No one wants to hurt themselves.

The reality is, if something is broken inside of you, that brokenness will war with the truth like a sinister fun-house mirror, presenting reality as a fantasy.

That’s why you’ll believe temptation won’t really hurt you.

  • No overweight person wants to gain weight.  Brokenness will show you weight gain as a self-indulgent, orgasmic and sumptuous gift of nourishment.
  • No married person wants to get a divorce.  Brokenness will show you divorce as a once-in-a-lifetime secret sexual fantasy that will fuel desire for your spouse.
  • No drug abuser wants to overdose.  Brokenness will show you overdosing as a sweetly spiraling surrender into bliss.
  • No violent person wants to end up in the hospital.  Brokenness will show you fatal injury as righteous revenge exacted by a powerfully courageous warrior.

I don’t know about you, but I’ma need every which-kind of anyway broken anything up out of my system.  As of last year.

Because there is no little bit, no just once, not a big deal with what’s bad for you.

Bad is a raging and ravenous animal that is insatiable and violent, constantly calculating ways to eat you alive… And get you to serve up your friends and loved ones as seconds.

Partnering with that is a really.

Really.

Really.

Bad idea.

The tricky part is if we knew where these broken parts were and how to heal them, we’d have done it already.

So let’s go:

  1. Clear the clutter out of the way: Fast.
  2. Ask for help: Pray.

If there were a rattle in your car you couldn’t identify, you wouldn’t park it in the driveway and watch a show about car repair.  At some point you gotta get under the hood.  You clear it out, and take it to a mechanic to identify the problem and make the necessary repairs.

The spiritual version of parking the car and watching a do-it-yourself show is religiously going to church without fasting and praying constantly.

Fasting isn’t some strange and dangerous celebrity diet.  It’s cleansing, offering and sacrifice.  Our minds and bodies are our own, we can’t forget that and fail to take control over ourselves.  Why shouldn’t we offer up the vessel for our spirit when we need work done?  Choose something, anything whether it’s a habit, food, drink, activity, or even a person, and cut it out until your healing comes.

Praying isn’t some pious religious ritual set aside for priests and fanatics when they’re in quiet time with their eyes closed in temple or church.  We were born to pray, and can every moment.  At some point we get coerced into thinking prayer, our communication with the Creator, isn’t the most valuable part of our makeup.  Everyone hears from God, everyone can talk to Him.  So ask Him to find your brokenness and heal it.  Every single day. Multiple times a day.

We can’t afford to confuse temptation for coercion.  If you know you want things that are bad for you, fast and pray until you’re healed.

There’s far more to life than exhaustion in battle with yourself over wars that have already been won.

Free yourself.

“‘Rather, each person is being tempted whenever he is being dragged off and enticed by the bait of his own desire. 15 Then, having conceived, the desire gives birth to sin; and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death. 16 Don’t delude yourselves, my dear brothers.’”

We often view temptation as an external influence that ‘happens upon us.’ In truth temptation is an outward manifestation of a pre-existing desire already INSIDE of us. Our first instinct is to remove whatever it is that is tempting us from our environment. This is no different than watering the leaves to make a plant grow instead of the roots. Some of the water may trickle down the stem and make it into the ground but it is not the most effective way to achieve the goal. The real battle with all temptation takes place inside of us. We must examine the want for whatever it is that tempts us and start from there.

Eliminating objects of temptation from our environment is a means but the end is when we want what God has in store for us more than ANYTHING.

If we have a want for something that is greater than what God has in store for us it is that very want that will kill our walk every time.

We must continue to hold our desires up to what God wants for us and see where our heart truly stands.

We will all be tempted but we do not have to fall.

We can choose to stand by what God wants for us over what we want.

It’s all about faith…”-Ebenezer Quaye

Who’s your Daddy: Identity, value and self-worth.

29 Jan

I shared some relationship tips recently, including how to identify and deal with your worst enemy.

Today is about self-worth, particularly for men, as the world seems hell-bent on convincing y’all your self-worth is defined by net worth.  Ladies meanwhile, are being convinced we’re defined by our bed-worth or sexuality, but that’s another discussion for another day.

Too many men live with the limiting core belief that the amount of money they make, the power they have, is tied into how valuable or worthy they are.

And because our decisions, our lives are based on the core truth of our identity -who and whose we think we are- and how worthy or valuable we think that makes us, self-worth is a big deal.  The biggest deal.

So let’s deconstruct it.  What is worth, or value really?

Value is defined as the level of importance or preciousness.  That  means how something or someone is regarded, and how rare it or they are is the measure of value.  It can also mean an estimate of monetary worth.

First of all…

There is only one you and man is at the top of the food chain.  No other human looks, thinks, or is made exactly the same as you are.

That makes you one in about 7 billion.

According to the London Zoological Society, the Ploughshare Tortoise is the most endangered species on the planet.

There are 600 of them left in world.

You are rare.

Second of all…

You were created by the most powerful, indescribable force of all time in all the universe.  And He thinks you’re the most important thing He ever made.

You are held in the highest regard by the Most High.

Third.

Do third-string players approach the game the same way starters do?  Nope.  They don’t expect to play, don’t believe they matter as much and have a completely different attitude about the game.  If they are called to play, they tend to be so shocked and ill-prepared mentally they don’t play their best.  Or they’re so thrilled and overzealous about the chance they literally give it all they got and burn out or get injured fast.

Convincing you you’re worthless is the enemy’s way of getting you to believe you’re a third string player on a losing team when in fact, you own the league.

This is your life.

At what point did your account balance make you any less qualified to run it?

It’s a pretty brilliant strategy to add the layer of money to the equation, along with trying to convince you that you aren’t unique, and aren’t a child of God.  Then, even if you know you’re one in several billion and know you’re God’s favorite, if you don’t have a lot of money…

You might still believe you’re not in the game yet.

You opt into a self-defeating spiritual game of deflection and excuse:  God is working on me;  He will provide;  When I____;  Don’t despise small beginnings; He who’s faithful over little;  My much is on the way…

Every person you meet, every relationship you form, every endeavor you begin is blurred and limited by this lie that you’re not as wealthy as you’re meant to be yet.

Never realizing the truth is, He finished you before your one in seven-billion self entered the world He created for you to rule.

All the money and power in the world is worthless in the hands of a man with no integrity; a man with no God.  Men and women who think otherwise are suffering in the ways of a hell you could never imagine.

You inherited the Earth.

So the next time you reflect on whether you’re man enough, what your account balance looks like, what you will do when or would do if, think about whether He’s God enough.  What His wealth looks like.  What He’s done and has planned.

Act accordingly.

Don’t curse your blessings: Mastering your mind and body for freedom’s sake

15 Jan

I’ve been battling a persistently annoying less-than-perfect-health situation for a couple months now.  It began as symptom-free general yuckiness and descended into a week of full-blown sick, then cleared 70% of the way up.  Now, it refuses to go away fully because sickness (unlike its carrier) thrives in sleeplessness and uncharacteristically inclement weather.

I’m not a day-napper, so a full night’s rest has become paramount.  Yesterday around 10:30 pm I dutifully settled in for a full eight hours, complete with earplugs.

11:30-ish I woke up with a dry cough, pouring sweat because the thermostat was set too high.  I groggily turned it down and dozed off again.

12:30-ish I woke up again coughing and sweating.  Frustrated, I turned the heat down further and fell back asleep.

1:30am-ish I woke up yet again, as I felt the pressure of paws on my side from our snuggle-hungry cat who Macgyvered her way through our barricaded wall heater (let that sink in. She’s an ever-loving beast.)

Mahatma: The most persistent snuggle-seeker ever.

Mahatma: The most persistent snuggle-seeker ever.

Exhausted and growing angry I returned her to the other room, reset the barricade and shut the door. I never suspected this scene would replay itself nearly every 15 minutes for the next 2 hours until I begrudgingly fed her, hoping a food coma would kick in.

3:30am-ish I dozed off.  I needed to be up at 6:15.

5:15am-ish I woke up once more as she returned happily purring, full and ready to snuggle.  Fuming, and hazy from insomnia I put her out again, this time closing my bedroom door.  I knew in the back of my mind she might claw at my love-nugget’s door and wake him up.  At that point I felt so tired I couldn’t care.

6:10am-ish I woke up again again to noises in the hall.  I angrily slitted one eye to see my door open and grumpily shut it, apparently in my love-nugget’s face (who I couldn’t see in the dark through my one-eyed glare.)  I learned later that he tried in vain to get my attention in spite of my ear plugs.

6:40am-ish I woke up for the day to my alarm.  I painfully went about my morning prayer while my cat once again sought snuggle time.

Awakened.

Peace restored.

Now, I cringe to think of how everything right seemed wrong because I let my environment cause me to lose control: I wasn’t in my right mind.  And it wasn’t hard to get me there.  I was just sleepy. Not intoxicated, or in danger.  That’s scary.

I could make excuses for it, but instead choose to recognize the screaming lesson in this human moment.  Being human is no excuse to do stupid.  And lessons will keep repeating, louder and louder until you get them.

Last night I was blessed.  Blessed to have rest, health, a warm home and comfortable bed, loving pets and  a loving, God-fearing man who does his very best even in his sleepiness at the crack of dawn, to care for me.

Last night I spent hour after hour, after hour cursing every. Single. One. Of those blessings.

I cursed heat during the coldest season we’ve had in years.  I cursed the adorably loving cat I’m responsible for.  I cursed the love of my life while he did his best to take care of me.

There are a million ways I could write it off and excuse it, but the reality is, I was cursing myself by directing negative energy at the blessings God gave me.  We don’t have time to play that dangerous game.

There’s far too much at stake and it has everything to do with us not only loving the goodness of life’s blessings, but overflowing with love for others.

Last night was God whispering:  Be thankful.  Take nothing for granted.  Love first, only, always.

Too often, we act like lazy high school students making excuses for failing to understand an important lesson.  We’re the ones who suffer for it.  And we won’t graduate until we get it.

Last night God whispered to me: Who am I?  How have you forgotten me, that you lose your thoughts?  Who is Your God, that you would curse His gifts as rubbish?

I’ll never know what might have happened if I had fallen to my face in prayer when the heat first woke me up last night.  If I had sought comfort instead of rejecting it.

Don’t wait until you’re shackled and broken to struggle to break free.  The minute you see restraint obliterate it.  Bondage, whether it’s a satin ribbon or seemingly impenetrable institution is the beginning of the same pain, depression, hate, anger, that fuels addiction, suicide, murder, racism, and every other evil that chases us.

Never confuse bondage that’s pretty, easy to remove and feels good with freedom.  It’s the same bondage that will destroy you because you didn’t realize accepting it is loving it.

Love freedom so much you hate anything that hints otherwise.  Love truth so much you hate every whispered lie.

Love your Creator so much, you are hungry not only for His love, grace and mercy, but for His lessons, His correction.  Be eager to fix yourself.

Know it really is that big a deal because nothing on this earth is random or thoughtless.

In seeking meaning, in seeking truth, you seek the One who made you, and every moment is a true master class in freedom.

Empowering choice with affirmation: Accept only who and what affirms your best you.

9 Jan

Most of us spend too much of our lives surrounded by stuff we don’t feel we can really choose for ourselves.  Partly because we feel forced to choose from a limited selection among family, school, friends, work, or church.

When we finally reach a place where we recognize our decisions are truly our own, options limitless, it’s freeing.

The idea of saying “Yes” to something new and purposed for the best you is encouraging and life-affirming.  It’s huge and all too rare to fully embrace change, for the better.  Some folks never do.  Once you have, it’s equally important to reject static, for the best.

That’s tough.  The idea that your “Yes” also needs to be reinforced and empowered by saying “No” to things that are old and not purposed for the best you, is daunting.

And, you’ll have few advisers to turn to.

If all you do is say “Yes” the clutter of old and new, bad and good, stagnant and fresh, random and purposed… Emboldened by the chatter of non-advisers in the quiet of limited counsel will weaken your resolve and cloud the clarity of change you embraced.

It’s not easy.  If everyone embraced change, then even if you didn’t say “No” and take that critical step to reject and remove clutter, folks around you might steer you back on track.

That ain’t the case.

Instead, it’s far more likely that in the middle of your challenging and radical  transition everybody will have some unsolicited criticism and advice to offer you about you.

While they remain unchanged.

Saying “Yes” to change and new advisers without saying “N0″ to habit and old advisers is like trying to pretend one termite-infested piece of wood won’t infest the entire structure you’re building… And expecting the pest-control guy to tell you the truth about whether that piece will matter.

So we have to regularly remind ourselves that what we have, and who we are is rare and wonderful.  Actively choose to be around people who affirm that instead of those who question and judge the improved, unfamiliar you.

Actively choose to be around people who are constantly seeking to learn about you, because they assume you’re constantly growing and evolving…

Because they are too.

Actively reject people who cling in fear to the past, investing time and resources in the sequel, depleting your time and resources in the process.

Your life is not an uninspired pop song.

It is purposeful, new, changing, confident, challenging, fresh, and refreshing.

Whenever something random, old, inflexible, insecure, easy, stale and tiring  comes along, don’t hesitate to say “No.”

Because when that something has eaten away the foundation of your new structure, it will return with lies of worry about how you will recover, to keep you comfortable in need.  Projecting judgment and unhappiness disguised as jokes, concern and care for you.

As you go about making choices, remembering you have unlimited options and resources, ask yourself:

  • Am I working with the best architect or advisers?
  • Am I using the very best building material?
  • Am I choosing the best design?
  • Am I building to weather the storm or bask in the sunshine?

That poor direction, rotted wood, misplaced weight-bearing wall,  or hurricane will tear everything up at the worst time:  When you need to depend on it most. It’ll crumble before your eyes.

Your best you, won’t be easy, readily accessible, inexpensive, or unoriginal.  That means your advisers won’t be any of those things either, because they have to be the best.

If an architect offered to design, build and pay for your dream home, but you realized they’d never built anything, and tend to leave a mess in their wake when they try…

Would you see the truth that you deserve and will have the best, then follow the signs they’re the wrong one to build with?  Or would you believe the lie that they have a once-in-a lifetime opportunity and jump at the chance?

That’s what happens when, broken, we desperately take what broken folks offer.

When you’re whole you don’t run around trying to fix other people or expecting them to fix you.  And you don’t desperately accept anything from any broken body who offers stale thinking about you or anything in your life.

As you embrace change and newness,  think of rejecting static and staleness as only accepting, hearing, and responding to the truth: That’s all you’ll get or give with your best advisers.

Why settle for less when you’re the one who has to live with the consequences?

  • Get comfortable saying “No” without compromise.
  • Get comfortable saying “Because this is better for me” with sincerity.

Every second of every minute of every hour of every day, practice knowing and loving yourself enough to choose who and what affirms your best you.

Moving forward into 2013: Endure, advance and achieve by following surely at the right pace.

12 Dec

Last week a colleague commented on a jogger passing by: “She’s about finished with her run.”  He could tell by her posture and breathing that she was worn out.  She could no longer endure.    I remarked that when a runner is pacing themselves for distance, their breathing is even and step relaxed yet energetic and determined: You can tell they’re in for the long haul.

Over the weekend I commented to a friend on the peace to be found in knowing fulfilling your purpose is your responsibility alone… If you also embrace that means the timing for advancing it is God’s responsibility alone and allow no man to pressure you into rushing or stalling your process.

This morning I found myself gridlocked in the middle of an intersection at a red light because my speed outpaced the sound thinking that would have kept me from entering the intersection: I literally moved too fast to follow good judgment.

You’re alive for a reason.  There is a specific purpose assigned to your life that only you can carry out and only God can direct and supervise.

Once you’ve discovered and embraced that purpose it sets you afire with life, propelling forward, driven toward your destiny.

But we don’t control time. God does. So when a minute feels like an hour or a year like a month, God is stretching and compressing time for us in divine project management.  If someone has a problem with your schedule don’t waste time arguing with them about it, tell them to take it to your supervisor.

Our job is simply to keep pace accurately so we’re neither tuckered out, nor frantically pressured, nor charging ahead blindly past divine instruction.

This allows us to submit to Him, instead of futilely trying to force God’s work in our lives to conform to our own ways, desires and thoughts, gumming up the works.  This allows us to be the powerful warriors our lives call us to be, moving with strength and in time with accuracy, instead of being cast about by weakness in random misalignment.

This season, be mindful:

Don’t do anything that will wear you out physically, bringing no spiritual refreshment which replenishes, heals, cleanses and rejuvenates.

Don’t let anything that’s not God-sent, including your own thinking, pressure or coerce you into changing the pathway and timetable He has set.

Don’t forget that to follow, you can’t move so quickly you’re unable to hear instruction for the wind rushing in your ears.

Endurance pace.  Measure the distance ahead and begin at a pace that allows you to sustain forward movement to the finish line.

Firm stance. Hold firmly and wield sternly the power of being the only one who can run your race, live your life, fulfill your purpose.   Be empowered by the truth: The fact that no other person can run or live it,  also means no one else can accelerate, decelerate or interrupt your stride.  Seek and trust God’s time table only.

Following posture.  Move ahead not by sight, but by faith:  Like a submarine in deep water, let every inch advanced be predicated not on what’s seen, but on the sound, your prayer sent and His word received so the terrain ahead can be properly assessed before entering.  Follow His instruction and pace by remaining still until you’ve received instruction to move ahead.

Walk boldly, surely and confidently into 2013 instead of slipping and stumbling toward it in frantic exhilaration.  

The Deep: Great ships need fathomless depths for support.

30 Nov

2012 feels like a great fight scene in an action film: Suspenseful anticipation followed by super-fast, ridiculously impossible athletic feats that defy the laws of physics and the street.

And just when you think you know what to expect, slow motion kicks in and everything ramps up.  You watch transfixed and excited, rooting for whoever has the sauciest roundhouse and most unexpected between-blow responses.

This year sped past like a whirlwind.  Now it’s slowing down, transitioning into 2013 and the next steps are not only critical, but hard to see.

For the depth of experience and height of growth that can only come with that unrelenting pace, I’m thankful.

For the dizzying days and fleeting memories attached to it, I’m reminded: Life goes by so fast.

When you’ve reached one speed and mastered one terrain, a new speed kicks in with a different landscape to navigate.

And it never slows down.  You might find yourself wondering what the heck is going on.

Or.

You might find yourself still in the center of the whirlwind if you’re in alignment.

Feeling peaceful and settled in the midst of change and deconstruction 2012 is winding up into, rest.  Watching, still.  Choosing action over motion with painstaking care.

From the eye of the storm, praying in gratitude for discernment.   Thankful for a purpose-filled life.  As familiarity wanes and discomfort grows… As questions flourish and the pace quickens, the answer to one question matters:

Is this an aching stretch to relax into, or a slow-burning pain excused and endured?

Change usually isn’t familiar or comfortable.

In transition, you need guidance to know the difference between stale and wrong, vs. new and right, especially when it all looks unfamiliar and uncomfortable.

You might find yourself making excuses for something you should be walking away from, or convincing yourself something you should run to is wrong… Because both are uncomfortable.

Only God can tell you the difference.

When we can’t see how something will work with our two little eyes, it’s really easy to draw the conclusion it won’t.  Searching for definition and a road map, we can actually get lost by turning away from what was right for us because we didn’t know it.

It wasn’t familiar.

-Touré Roberts

-Touré Roberts

Your life is a body of water: How you choose to move through it depends largely on how deep into limitless waters you’re willing to go.

The thing about water, and boats is…

If you want definition and clarity, to see and know every turn and crevice, you’re talking about a pool.  Maybe it’s a really cool pool, with a slide and an underwater light show and fountains and rocks and bubbles.  But it’s a flippin’ pool.  You might be able to get a floaty into it.  How much fun is it to captain a floaty?  A pool can’t feed you or give you water.  There’s no life in that.  It’s limited.

If you want a thrill and never-ending adventure with excitement and danger at every turn, you’re talking about white-water river rafting.  Tons of fun.  But you’re completely at the mercy of that wildly running river.  There’s no stopping the raft in still water or pulling to the shore to rest.  How long could you really survive in a raft?  A rushing river can only sweep you along with it.  There’s no purpose in that.  It’s out of control.

But an ocean brings crashing waves and stillness.  Endless, boundless space to choose to explore, mapping out where and why you’ll move with the ocean’s response.  Deep and beautiful, it’s filled with life, caves, sea creatures, ravines… You can take a cruise liner out on that.  You can build a life so solid and seaworthy, nothing can shake you and every moment is an adventure.  That’s a purpose-filled life.  Steady, sure, flexible, meaningful, wonderful.

Shallow water can only support so much.  If your purpose is heavy, your life big and your destiny great, there’s going to have to be a whole lotta ocean beneath you to support and sustain it.

That can be scary, I guess.  But wouldn’t you rather deal with potential dangers in limitless freedom than false safety in tight bondage?  And for the record, kiddie pools are indeed awesome.  But all they offer is novel and temporary relief from a day’s heat, and they only last one season.

Here’s to floating anchored into 2013 with slow surety, peace and readiness for the beautifully unexpected partnership God’s universe offers us: A perfect match for our brilliant, never been seen before destiny.

Sowing into the ultimate win-win: Applying sustainable development principles to your personal life and thinking

13 Nov

How often have you found yourself cursing a choice you made, when you knew, you just knew you could have done better or should have chosen differently?  How often have you gotten a sense that something wasn’t quite right, but you just couldn’t figure out exactly what went wrong, why, or what to do about it?

You reap what you sow.  

Yeah, yeah.  But how do we stop ourselves, from not even realizing what we’re sowing?  I mean, when I glance at chocolate cake how do I turn the promise of deliciousness into the promise of a clogged artery… Then choose not to convince myself to eat the cake anyway?

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Yeah, yeah.  But how do we stop ourselves, from not even realizing when we choose to shackle our mind?  I mean, when the super-spectacular new adventure film comes out, how do I turn the promise of a great date night… Into the promise of a late bill payment or limited inheritance?  Then, how in the heck do I rejoice in the promise of greatness over the moment of pleasure?

It’s just not easy to change your thinking.

Why?

This excerpt from a colleague about sustainable agricultural development is also a remarkably cogent scientific explanation for why our pesky brains get in our way all the time.  And stay there.

“In the course of analyzing [the mind] from a systems perspective, we are reminded that [systems of thought] are difficult to change because they are nested in larger educational, economic, and political systems that in turn reflect much bigger trends—among them centralization, industrialization, standardization, and globalization.”

It’s not just you.

The idea of changing one’s thinking in this day-the information age- with ever-changing and improving technology is like trying to lose weight by moving into a candy store.  Not to mention, there are very real forces out there whose existence depends on you never changing the way you think.

Still.

We were made for more.  We are still alive, and that means we still have time to be ever better.

Let’s look at this differently, so we can see how attainable and relevant it really is. Instead of regarding mind renewal as the search for some arguably unimportant, unnecessary, spiritual guru light-switch you’ll have to take precious time from your already awesome life to find within yourself…

Consider thinking of it instead, as best business practice: Sustainable Development.

What is sustainable development?

“Referring to something as sustainable should indicate a method of [development] that is socially and environmentally responsible.  Having the title of sustainable inherently implies the [development] was also produced organically.  In a broad sense being sustainable means considering all the natural and human resources used in the [development], so a [development] that is sustainable is one that does not degrade or exploit resources, natural or otherwise, in the process of its creation but instead works as part of a system to regenerate and rebuild (not just sustain) the resources it uses, naturally as a holistic process.”  

In other words, sustainable development or mind renewal is the ultimate win-win.

But we have to choose to use that model.  Even though sustainable development sounds great, doing it is another challenge entirely.

So it begins.

There’s no question that we control our choices and actions.  Lots of stuff may get in the way of how we choose and act, but it is ultimately up to us to decide what we do.  It is also up to us to get our lives and thoughts in order, so we can make sound decisions.

That’s why mastering the stuff that gets in the way of how we choose and act is important.  Even more important, is that we master our mind and renew our thinking.  Then, all that stuff goes away, and we get the ultimate guide.

We know nothing is in the way of how we choose and act and we always have the best advisor possible.

The promise of success resulting from choosing and acting in the very best way possible, is why we value intelligence, science, intellectual pursuits: They all suggest mastery of one’s mind, which suggests right thinking, right choosing, and right living, which signifies success and greatness.

Looking at that backwards, if someone’s great and successful, in terms of reaping what you sow… They had a great harvest.  This means they chose to tend their territory/life/etc. well.  If they chose to tend well, they thought about all the possibilities.  They had knowledge of the possibilities first and chose to develop for sustainability.  They knew how important sustainable development is: They had mastered or renewed their mind.

When you sow, or put time and effort into planning, planting, establishing and growing something, it isn’t just about the seed.  You are choosing to enter a system with multiple inputs and outputs, some of which are within your control.  Within that system, the seed, soil, climate, season, water source, neighboring plants, all matter.

To get the best results, you need to fully understand the lay of the land, create a sustainable development plan, and put it into action.

In a planting situation, that might mean you select drought-tolerant crops to plant in a desert.  Or, choose to plant flowers nearby so bees can pollinate easily.  Or, that you strategically introduce ladybugs to eat predatory insects, or establish plants that attract birds that do the same.  It might mean you avoid certain plants that poison others, or inhibit growth.

In life, too often, we lack understanding, fail to plan for sustainability and then just throw up our hands when our creation uses itself up.  Even with good intentions we might give it to God, never realizing our passiveness is opting out of our destiny by accepting less for ourselves.

All development or processes of creation will become something:   A success, failure or stepping stone.  Every development exists in relationship to the rest of the world.  The more any creation process seeks to develop at odds with its surroundings, the more stunted and violent the outcome will be.

The ideal development, or process of creation, is sustainable.

It would not only last. It would be designed to function in a way that would enhance, improve, grow and replenish everything around it.  It would naturally depend on the promotion and use of the best in everything around it and everyone and thing around would get better because of it.

Truly great people, art, music, food, families, architecture, businesses, urban planning, health, design, all follow these principles.

When a non-sustainable development plan is implemented, it’s because cutting corners not only takes less time and money, but less intelligence to accomplish.  What is saved in time, thought and cash is spent in shortened shelf-life, higher maintenance and decreased return on investment.

It’s worth it to understand.  It’s worth it to know.  It’s worth it to master your mind, so that sustainable development in your life is the only available option.

How do you master your mind?

By realizing your mind is your first seed: You are your first and most important sustainable development.

Before you begin to plant anything else, focus on building, sharpening, cleansing and preparing the most important tool you’ll ever use: Your mind.

Recognize you are learning constantly, just like a baby.  What you choose to learn from matters.  Your mind has a give and take relationship with its environment.  You start sowing into your mind by first carefully considering and choosing its planting conditions.

You wouldn’t plant a weed next to a tomato vine, or spray plant-killing poison over an orange tree you plan to grow and eat from.  Nor would you plant a tree that needs light, and water in a concrete bucket in the basement.

You would however, if you knew there were certain plants that make oranges juicier and sweeter… Choose to plant those plants near your orange tree.  If you knew of ground cover that prevents weed growth while stimulating tomato production, you’d probably choose to plant that as well.

Your life is no different.  What you surround yourself with matters.

You’re building toward something, whether you realize it or not.  But your thinking about it has to change.  That begins with learning every principle that helps ensure what you create is designed to be sustainable: To thrive, flourish, and regenerate, causing everything around it to do the same.

Rationing goodness: Don’t let your flaws and fears stop you from stepping up.

3 Nov

Life isn’t apparently good all the time. The people, situations, thoughts and circumstances presented to us are often not only unideal, uncomfortable, or not preferred… They can be downright bad, meaning to cause us hurt, reveling in the possibility.

When we discern this, in recognizing and understanding it, we face a danger different than we think. Nothing that intends to harm us actually will.

The real danger is in the many subtle ways of backing down, running away from the confrontation. The real danger is in running either because we don’t believe we can and will overcome it, don’t think we deserve to, or both.

The real danger is in not realizing our choice not to confront, to find a way to shine light and share good… Is actually a form of seeking ease, comfort, solace, normalcy, acceptance from the very thing that was wrong, the very worst place we could ever look: Outside of ourselves, away from God.

When we insulate ourselves, shelter ourselves, or outright retreat or run from a challenge we accept it through tolerance, and we dishonor and belittle ourselves by locking away and withholding our power. Worst of all, we leave whatever was wrong to fester, rot, and spread in ways we’ll never know or understand.

Suddenly, an attack however mild or severe becomes a perverted expression of caring for that which harms us. An unintentional, indirect way of prioritizing the wrong above love for ourselves as we try to ignore, enable, soothe, heal, or identify with it by failing to confront it and make it right.

By choosing not to rock the boat, stick out, be weird, be judged… By who?

There is no battle we can’t win. Only those we aren’t yet ready to fight.

Carefully and honestly question why you think you aren’t ready, and you might just find you were better prepared than you thought. We may never know who might be affected or changed by us standing up strong and the need is bigger than our circumstance.

Goodness, life, is not yours to regulate or ration according to your flaws and imperfections. Mostly because you’re perfect just the way you are. See how tricky that would get?

Every challenge deserves an extra look every time. When you put forth extra effort, an extraordinary faith, a miraculous grace will help you at your worst moment and make it the best time.

Not only will you win, you’ll be wiser and stronger for the next challenge.

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