There’s something to be said for the amount of love you have for someone if you’re willing to do thoughtful stuff for them, just because it makes them smile. Or if you do for them, stuff you hate to (ok hate is strong… Consistently or always avoid having to) do for yourself, just because it makes them smile.
That’s pretty flippin’ awesome. And wildly effective.
What isn’t so much, is buying folks stuff, just because it makes you smile. Or because you think they’ll be impressed. Not so much.
FYI, if you’re with someone who’s impressed by said cash-flashes, you should either (a) Reevaluate their true level of interest and investment in you AND (b) Reevaluate their character AND (c) Reevaluate your judgement. AND (d) Reevaluate their true level of interest and investment in you. (Grammar, syntax and circular logic aside, <— That’s true.)
There’s even more to be said for how much it means to show you appreciate someone. Not just a “Thank you.” A, “Thank you for taking me to dinner.” For (enumeration required) every little thing you do.
In particular, thank them in the way they like to be thanked. Whether that’s an extra cheese puff, flowers, a beer, some hanky panky (which is just fun to say in 2010… Hanky panky.) Don’t thank them by going to the sports bar or to get your nails done together if that’s not what they want. Sacrifice your interest and preferences long enough to do it right.
Thank them for everything. Even the stuff you don’t see that you love. You are WRONG if you ever claim that they OUGHT to, or are EXPECTED, to do anything for you. I don’t care how many years you’ve been together. I don’t care what you think you’ve done.
We’re not talking about a person you met on the street ten minutes ago. If you’re in a healthy, reciprocal relationship with a person, no matter what you think you’ve stretched to do for them…
They have done just as much as you have. Probably more than you know.
Mind you, we’re not even talking about extra effort here. We’re talking about the everyday effort, the simple kind that shows you someone is caring for you constantly, that many of us choose to ignore.
Just hop off your high horse long enough to appreciate the giver and the effort made.
It baffles me when we allow others to do things for us but fail to appreciate the effort.
We’ve been brainwashed by movies and friends we envy inappropriately into thinking news-worthy gestures are the only kind worth acknowledging.
Do you pay attention to the meaningless, sensationalist drivel they broadcast nowadays?
Trust me, if you had to balance whether having your partner make the bed every morning (or whatever mundane chore you do ’cause you were “raised right”) was better than having them give you a tanzanite ring… Depending on the…Eeeeerrrrr…. Size of said ringband and eerrr… Manner of presentation and… Eeerrrr… Level of bukkit-nekkitness involved… Never mind. I’m innocent, I can get away with that.
Point: You’d prefer the first. Or you might want to reevaluate, along with a through d above…
Who you with?
If you’re lucky enough to be with someone who will do stuff they don’t like to do, not because you manipulated them into doing it, but because they know it makes you truly happy on some level, count your blessings, your stars, their b-lls, and,
THANK THEM FOR IT.
Don’t judge their methodology. Don’t rearrange what they did. Don’t redo what they did. That’s taking a crap all over whatever they were selfless and wonderful enough to do for your judgemental behind.
For extra stars, revel in it. Years from now, when they continue to make your life better/easier/more enjoyable by continuing that behavior because you encouraged it with wildly positive reinforcement…
Thank yourself. 😉