Perverted statistics on marriage, divorce etc.

It is woefully tiresome to see studies conducted and data manipulated to pervert the idea of beauty and the wonder of love.  So tiresome in fact, that we should refuse to validate the preponderance of stoopit information by spreading it further.

It is wildly stoopit and irrelevant.

Yes, this range includes everything from racially biased attraction levels to genetically hardwired infidelity to racially biased scarcity myths to gender biased commitment issues.

Instead, let’s slowly saturate the info-lines with the opposite.

Let us pray for the sick and self-loathing scholars and their mind-numbingly ridiculous statistics proving we’re doomed because (some) people are less attractive, less committed, more divorce-prone, unfaithful, and childless.

For those who aren’t aware, statistics don’t mean a goshdurned motherflipflopped lintlicking thing.  All a statistic tells you is that someone decided they wanted to prove something, and designed some tests to prove themselves right.  Not wrong.  RIGHT.

Not only that, even when the statistics don’t support the claim, you can play with them however you want to drive your message home.

That said, statistics and studies are out there.  And since I like creating my own fun, I’ve decided to highlight some of the glory of love for my fellow lovers out there.

Lets party.

For starters, here’s a nice, plausible (albeit less entertaining) read on what, from a universal and biological standpoint, actually attracts men and women to each other, and no it does not have anything to do with race, income, hair or self-image:

Second of all, physical attraction is, on the grand scale of science, the Tyler Perry or TMZ equivalent of trash universally accepted for its entertainment properties over its substance.

Why bother?  A slightly more interesting scientific topic, because of its anthropological, cultural,  and socio-economic implications to name a few…

Is that of marriage.

So I’ll spout off arguably accurate facts to support my loverville-lifestyle.

Because really, who the flip has it out for love and marriage?  It’s an institute you can’t disparage this, I tell you brother…  It’s like statisticians nowadays actually took an oath:  We don’t care if we’re talking bananas and gorillas.  Eat the cake Ida Mae.  Believe what we’re telling you.

At some point after the 60’s it seemed along with the encouragement of singledom supposedly provided by every environmental and cultural factor humans can choose… Scholars decided to validate the concern that there was a sudden and indirectly proportionate relationship between the divorce and marriage rates, worsening over time (and the advent of rap music probably.)

Unfortunately, this and other ill-advised and unproven theories have poisoned general sentiment on marriage.

Don’t believe me?  Ask your own random sampling of your friends what they know about marriage statistics and the known causes for its success or decline.  With or without disclaimer I guarantee you they will respond with one or all of the following:

1) Most marriages end in divorce.

2) Fewer people are getting married.

3) No one values the institution of marriage anymore.

4) Infidelity is easier nowadays.

5) Gender roles are blurred nowadays.


Of those five, only the first two are actually relevant in terms of statistics, success or failure of marriage outside of Mr. and Mrs. Jones little bubble life.  The last three are impossible to prove one way or another.

So who cares.

As for the divorce and marriage rates… Correct me if I’m wrong, please… Why for how come, does data track divorces annually, which are singular events in time, then calculate the rate against the number of marriages formed annually, which is actually a perpetual state? Once you’re divorced you’re done.  No need to keep count.

Marriage numbers only grow and that isn’t factored into the equation. Using numbers for singular events against perpetual states, just doesn’t make any sense.  That’s like comparing the number of murders to the number of births to calculate the mortality rate.  It’s over simplified and will be inaccurate and unreliable.

Suffice to say, don’t believe the hype.  But if you had to, choose some positive hype! 🙂

Lest we miss out on the fun of statistics and sharing, allow me to present my own little warped reality… At least it’s hype promoting something positive and arguably follows pretty sound logic.

In Tinaland, also known as Rainbowville, also known as the US of A:

Did you know America is leading the world for the number of new marriages annually with a rate of 9.8? 🙂 YAY!

In 2007, more than 2 million people got married, and there were more than 58 million already-married couples.  In the same year, there were only a little over 1 million divorces.

(Ahem) Now… According to my shallow research and very basic analysis that does in fact look like somewhere between ONE and TWO percent of ALL marriages end in divorce.  Not this ridiculous %50.  I have convinced myself that fifty really means, the number of divorces finalized annually equals half the number of marriage certificates issued annually.

I will continue to operate in this reality until someone proves otherwise.  Hop to it.

More statistics for you to get intoxicated on:

The US has seen a 144% increase in marriages since the 1960’s.  More than 7 million married women bore their first child and the birth rate to married women is at 60.3.  Save the babies.  (

And, just for those who would love to fuss about how unhappy marriages typically are…

Nearly all of married couples sleep in the same bed (88%).

Nearly all of newlywed men and women are faithful (88% and 82% respectively).

The vast majority of married women are sexually satisfied, achieving orgasm during intercourse (71%).

The vast majority of married couples are in sex-filled marriages (85%) while very few are in sexless marriages.  (

Most people (85%) believe marriage is important for happiness in one’s lifetime.

Very few (26%) would be happy if never married.

The majority of people are either married or in a long-term relationship (56%) and ¾ of the single population are looking for love or companionship (72%) (

Yep.  Love is so incredible that of the millions married, 3.5 million are actually in long distance marriages.  57% of the population is currently in or has been in a long distance relationship (

(Gleefully releasing armfuls of butterflies, glitter, and champagne bubbles in to the air.)

Cheers to life and love in 2011.

Please share your thoughts, encouragement, questions, I'd love to see them.

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