As we approach cuddle season- also known as winter or oddly foggy and rainy season for Southern Californians- I’ve noticed some thangs.
I’ve noticed people commenting that Halloween is a chance for folks to secure their winter cuddle-buddy by indulging their dark alter egos for a night.
More importantly, I’ve noticed profound statements of love:
Lover’s reunions after decades and continents apart; Friends leaping in faith and courage and airplanes to pursue a life of love together; Marriages blooming as families grow; Unexpected soulmates committing to marriage ; Lasting relationships deepening, refreshing, renewing, growing.
As I revel in this glorious love fest on Monday, October 31st which happens to be Halloween and a week before my 32nd birthday, it highlights another thang.
There really are a lot of folk out there.
Folk who are smart, good-looking, healthy, kind, and arguably sane. Some are all relationshiptondoned up. Some are flying solo and sanguine. Fine and skippy all around.
So of course this begs the question: In the midst of all these folk, how do you define Mr. or Mrs. Right? As in, folk for folk to fall magically in unicorn-land love with.
There are many catchy sound bites answering the question of what defines Mr. or Mrs. Right:
- Be the kind of person you would want to fall in love with.
- Hold out for intense, butterfly-filled love.
- Love yourself fully before you love another.
- If they’re willing to wait for you, it can last forever.
- If you let them go and they come back, they were and always will be yours.
- If they get along with their mom, they’re a keeper.
- If babies like them, they’re a keeper.
- If puppies and kittens and other young mammals like them, they’re a keeper.
In my opinon, the messages that sum it up best, are about a woman who is everything a woman could be… And conversely what a man should be. Check it out:
An accomplished woman, who can find? Her value is far beyond pearls.
Her husband’s heart relies on her and he shall lack no fortune.
She does him good and not evil, all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax, and works with her hands willingly.
She is like the merchant ships, she brings her bread from afar.
She arises while it is still night, and gives food to her household and a portion to her maidservants.
She plans for a field, and buys it. With the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She girds her loins in strength, and makes her arms strong.
She knows that her merchandise is good. Her candle does not go out at night.
She sets her hands to the distaff, and holds the spindle in her hands.
She extends her hands to the poor, and reaches out her hand to the needy.
She fears not for her household because of snow, because her whole household is warmly dressed.
She makes covers for herself, her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known at the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes a cloak and sells it, and she delivers aprons to the merchant.
Strength and honor are her clothing, she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the lesson of kindness is on her tongue.
She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise and praise her, her husband lauds her.
Many women have done worthily, but you surpass them all.
Charm is deceptive and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears God shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
And for our gents:
My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you,
turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding—
indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding,
and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure,
then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.
For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.
Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path.
For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.
Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, who have left the straight paths to walk in dark ways, who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil, whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways.
Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God.[a]
Surely her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead.
None who go to her return or attain the paths of life.
Thus you will walk in the ways of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous.
For the upright will live in the land, and the blameless will remain in it;
but the wicked will be cut off from the land, and the unfaithful will be torn from it.
There you have it. Mr. Right is a wise, discerning, strong, ethical, faithful compassionate leader. Mrs. Right is a wise, diligent, beautiful, successful, faithful, kind leader.
Doesn’t that make things simple?