Everyone messes up. Everyone.
But you know, not everyone cares.
Meanwhile, others care too much.
Most people know when they’ve failed and go through some form, however brief, of beating themselves up about it. Thankfully, many enlightened folk understand the rewarding steps to overcoming failure and diligently walk the road to redemption every time we fail, no matter how far we fall.
So why do the same folk judge and convict the people they love when they fail… Or take a different walk to redemption-land?
Spending time doing anything other than helping and supporting when someone we love, family, friend or spouse fails a little or a lot… Turns a battle into a war.
Allowing ourselves to be upset over someone else’s action introduces us to the fray. Unless you’re surrounded by sociopaths, when your loved ones fail they’ll know it, will wrestle with their feelings and try to get back on track. Judgment and punishment during that process is like clothes-lining someone on crutches.
Everyone we love, everyone, will fail at some point in their lives. We don’t have to compound failure by taking it on as our own. I think, because of our love we hope for the best. We see our loved ones walking as the most divine reflection of themselves always. When they fail, it can feel like a crack in the veneer of a masterpiece, if we love shallowly. If we love deeply failure is like a new texture on a smooth and magnificent marble statue.
There’s something to failure. A lot to be learned. New chances to grow. I know the last thing little Timmy wants to hear when he lost the winning run is that he can learn from it. But a couple weeks later when he comes back from the batting cages improved and happy he’ll be more receptive.
Perfect love is sometimes a little more about intent than action. More about potential than status. Always about present and future over past.
“My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” -Abraham Lincoln
The only real failure is resting in it. If we are discontent with failure we have already overcome it and all that’s left is to move on. What an easy walk we’d have if that were the rule for ourselves and everyone we love.