We are so excited about, focused on, careful with, enamored by, intrigued with, new. Whether it is a new house, car, marriage, relationship, class, job, suit, dress, spiritual revelation, place, TV show, social movement, or child…
We can’t get enough of it.
We want to know more about it. We want to be around it, constantly learning, exploring, appreciating, improving, protecting, sharing, yearning.
It is all about the new.
That new car scent.
And then, you feel you know the new, and feel more secure. You get comfortable with it. You shift from learning, exploring, appreciating, improving, protecting, sharing, yearning… To understanding, resting, expecting, trusting, depending, defining, accepting.
This shift happens because once we accept something as part of our lives, we learn less about it and more about how it fits… Us.
The relationship shifts from focus on it to focus on ourselves.
Two things happen then.
First, as we focus less on it, we tend to it a little less, maybe allowing it to get dusty, to spend less time on it. Second, we begin to learn unexpected and sometimes unwelcome things about ourselves.
No one dreams of discovering they can’t do it alone; have a speeding problem; aren’t ready; don’t know very much; need to lose weight; are selfish; sometimes wish they weren’t a parent, or spouse; don’t believe in themselves; yearn to return to the past…
On top of that, we also manage to pretend our dusty, stagnant thing and our horrifyingly honest introspection is that thing’s fault.
In reality, that thing hasn’t changed.
For the better.
When we are immature we think being fed, tended to like a baby is preferable to the responsibilities of adulthood. And when we’re babies we can’t imagine the difference.
It’s no different as adults, striving for new. New levels of growth, difference, change. We don’t know what that looks like and sometimes cling to the old for comfort, neglecting our responsibility to shepherd the change.
As a result, all too often, we opt for external change to avoid internal change. Instead of seeking a new thing, why not focus on uncovering the new you, the new stage of that thing?
If something great was once or is now new, keep dusting it off. Commit to exploring it from the deeply meaningful place that is the substance of you, in it…
No matter how vulnerable it makes you or how challenging it feels.