I heard a line yesterday that stirred me:
“Do you really want to be like him?”
The question was posed in the context of a budding romantic relationship and was so simple.
When we choose to be intimately involved with someone as a friend or life companion, we have to choose carefully.
Too often, because we’re focused on immediate gains, we never stop to consider a simple truth: When we like someone, we are attracted to something in them, that we want for ourselves.
We are subconsciously seeking to become like them.
Now, that’s awesome if your heart and spirit are pointed in the right place: Then you’re always attracted to someone’s Godliness and everything’s all good.
We’re not perfect and that’s not always the case.
Ask yourself whether you want to be like the person you choose to spend so much time with. Because you will become like them. The first thing you should then wonder is how well you really know a person.
Are there things you don’t want to know about?
Are those things you don’t want to see in them?
Or are they things you don’t want to see in yourself?
As much as you’re saying you want to be like someone by being with them, ignoring or blinding yourself to the truth of who they are is also blinding yourself or ignoring the truth of who you are.
Operating on the truth that your intimate relationships become ones of likeness on some level… You’re saying “I want to become like you” when you form a relationship. And it’s smart to own up to exactly what you’re saying you want.
Do you really even know the person, and what does that say about your shallow attraction? The things you want might seem like they’re in someone, when really, they’re nothing like who you are meant to be.
Remembering you are opting in to being like someone else eliminates the blurry waters we wade about in relationships when we say parts of a person can be kept or lost, changed or tolerated.
Who do you want to be like?
Who don’t you want to be like?
Answer these questions for your relationships and you’ll find a sense of clarity and meaning for them pretty quickly.
If you’re attracted to people who do things you believe in our spirit you don’t want to… Maybe they’re placed in front of you to highlight you aren’t as as aligned as you thought.
We should always strive to be the highest versions of ourselves, and to surround ourselves with folks who do the same, and see us as such. With our focus always on the highest potential of life we keep our priorities straight.
Whose likeness are you ready to be formed in?