Mixed messages: Mean what you say.


I love babies.  They’re awesome.  If nothing else, you know exactly where they stand at all times.

It isn’t always that way with adults.  How often have you found yourself in a situation where someone said one thing and meant another?  Where they didn’t say a word, yet their actions spoke loud and clear?

With babies, there isn’t any confusion of signals, manipulation of outcome, talk belying behavior, guilt vindication, or personal offense avenged.

In this, babies are excellent communicators: Direct, clear, simple.

As adults, we often lose those critical elements of communication behind a mixed up cloud of intellect, social expectations, experiences, hurts, dreams, thoughts, agendas, feelings, language, fears and messiness… Then wonder why we’re misunderstood.

Nothing’s always perfect, and that’s ok.  Nothing’s always bad, and that’s ok too.

We aren’t responsible for others, nor can we control what they say or do.

What we are responsible for, what we can control, is what we say and do.

Your feelings show.  Your body language says something.  Your facial expressions communicate.  When what we say silently is misaligned with what we say out loud, it throws everything out of whack: None of it makes sense.

We can’t control which of those mixed messages  is received. Sending conflicting messages robs the receiver of the choice to engage with you fully: Because there’s no real exchange for them to opt into, only a confusing illusion.

Wouldn’t it be easier to communicate if we simply acknowledged what we were really feeling or thinking and were transparent about it?

Now, everyone won’t be open to hearing you say what’s really going on with you.  But at least you’ve been honest, and accepted responsibility for it.  Then, you’ve given the other person the choice, to opt in or out.

Our time, thoughts, messages are precious.  We should avoid wasting our own or someone else’s time in mis-communication.

We certainly aren’t robots, controlling our every eye-flutter and facial twitch.  But, as adults we ought to be able to recognize what we’re really saying.  And whether it’s what we really mean.

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