Expressing yourself in style

Don’t believe the lie that looks don’t matter. They do.  People, art, fashion, natural wonders… Aesthetics, the way we look matters.  Appearance is a powerful and meaningful tool you should master and wield responsibly.


Don’t believe the lie that when it comes to looks, a specific standard of beauty matters.  It doesn’t.  There is none.  Looking good is about looking healthy, well-groomed, appropriate, intentional, comfortable, and expressively, uniquely, you.

We have to take responsibility for how we look.

It’s important to hold ourselves responsible not only for the maintenance, development, growth, use and impact of our spirit and mind, but also for our physical appearance… In all arenas.

Think about it.

As adults, we’ve all developed (or are working to develop) social skills that allow us to function seamlessly in the different spaces of our life with different people: Family, friends, work, home, events, church, courtroom, grocery store, meetings, hospitals, etc.

Our appearance in each of those spaces matters just as much as the way we communicate and carry ourselves.

We would dress and behave completely differently at a festival than we would at a funeral.  I’d hope.


Having acknowledged the importance of appearance, today we deal with a myth:

The myth: The idea that we ladies can’t be both well-groomed and grounded, fun and  well-coiffed, alluring and appropriate, active and poised.

Below are some pictures of yours truly in completely different places and outfits embracing looking healthy, well-groomed, appropriate, intentional, comfortable, and expressively, uniquely, me.

What I wear is a window into my spirit.  For now, it’s very modern pinup: that means red lacquered nails, big curly hair, dramatic eyeliner, and a feminine, alluring, classic wardrobe full of wraps, color and interesting accessories.  During my early teen years it was pretty dark: Black, baggy clothing, dark red nail polish and lipstick.  In college it was Afro-chic.  Maybe when I get older there will be a buzz-cut, boots and lace involved.  Who knows?

At an amusement park
Dinner cruise
On a dinner cruise
On a wine tasting trip
Um. In a tree. (Camping trip)
Red nails, big hair.

Now… My lifestyle is that of an executive, worshiper, dancer, housekeeper, artist and cook.  Regardless of what I’ve got on, I spend a whole lotta time every week working, crying, sweating, hair-whipping, messiness, and washing.

And, I refuse to spend a ton of time primping.

That means a glam look with a lotta not-so glam activities, and very little time to worry.

Note: Worry, like shame, guilt and regret is both worthless and wildly expensive.

Avoid at all costs.

Over the years I’ve uncovered simple ways to mesh personal style with lifestyle, maintaining comfort and poise.

The key is to remember that whether you like it or not, the way you look is expressive.  It says something.  So be intentional.  You think before you speak, right?  If not, you should consider it.

Take care of your health because you love you.  Display that care wisely and lovingly.  Put together your outfits like you’re creating a still life or arranging a centerpiece on a table: From head to toe, hair to nails it should be clear you care about you.

Honestly, not all of us do care.  We may workout and eat right but hate the idea of makeup or heels.  No matter how we choose to express ourselves stylistically, we still have to own the fact that we are sending a message with our appearance.

More to come.

Birthday brunch

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