We’ve all been hurt in the past. We’ve all built up defensive walls. We’ve all thought we’d torn them down, finally investing fully in healthy, loving relationships.
Then, it turns out the habits that came with the walls hadn’t really gone anywhere. Even though the relationships were right, there was no full investment: The habit of holding back had settled in.
Why on earth would anyone refuse to invest in a high-yield, no-risk scenario? I said that right. Yes, high-yield no-risk investments are pretty much non-existent.
But love is absolutely that.
When we’ve been hurt and habitually build up walls we somehow think we’re defending our most precious capital: Love.
Unfortunately, just like with money, love tucked away safely where it can’t offer any return does not work for you.
We convince ourselves, “Let me hold on to my love because I know I can care for it, and I would never hurt me like someone else would.”
The reality is, that is hurting.
Hiding is self-hurt.
When it matters most, those same defense mechanisms that covered your vulnerability and soothed your aching heart will keep you from loving fully, no matter how healthy the relationship is.
In healthy relationships between two whole people, the more you put in, the more you get back… And nothing actually can go wrong as a result of you loving more.
So here we are. Sitting on our love when we know if we give it freely (that is, invest in a unique opportunity) we are guaranteed to receive way more with absolutely no risk of losing.
Picture this: You’re a millionaire with a time machine, and you’ve traveled back a decade with all the 2014 information you know. When the opportunity presents itself you say to Mark Zuckerberg (founder of facebook), “Nope, nope. I’m not going to invest my millions in Facebook before it goes live. I simply do not want more money, I’ll just keep it safe in my mattress.” (MZ is a billionaire today because of that business.)
Maybe you’d rather hang on to money than gamble with it. But when there are healthy relationships at stake, the only risk is holding back: Withholding breeds mediocrity.
Hidden love spoils. We were made to care for one another, uplift one another, spread joy. Withholding love is the stuff of bitterness and unforgiveness. When we pretend that isn’t important and revel in grumpiness we only hurt ourselves.
The love you pour out will come back exponentially greater.
So share. With your husband, wife, children, friends, family, and if you believe, especially in God. You’ll get so much more back.