If you were ready to be married, you would be.


I'm fascinated by the intensity of the unmarried population's marriage outlook these days.  It seems to range from I have a wedding dress (or ring) all picked out... To half of marriages end in divorce, all men will cheat and all women will hurt you, so what's so bad about polygamy anyway? Having been in …

An Open Letter encouraging “Very Smart Brothas” writer Panama Jackson


Dear Panama, This may seem way left field but please read with an open mind. A couple months ago, I had a disturbing dream. A very young girl under the influence of a toxic substance aggressively paraded her sexuality in a way that perverted the mind of everyone around.  Stunned at first, I finally moved, …

The Substance of style: How to be an Olympic Gladiator in a suit


When I was a little girl I knew I was an artist, singer, and fashion designer early on.  Cartooning, a heavy vibrato, and obsessive development of my crayon-infused design portfolio were dead giveaways. Growing up in a family of activists in an impoverished community left little room for me to explore and embrace the depths …

The substance of style: Wardrobe basics


I worked at a clothing store during my multiple-job phase in college, and am glad I can look back fondly on those (ahem) unique work moments and lessons. Por ejemplo. Work moment: Greeting folks with a cheerful, excited grin led to apologies from confused customers. Lesson: Genuine joy in shopping malls is completely disarming. Work …

Expressing yourself in style: Part II


In the same way what we say matters, how we look matters. Both are outward reflections of spirit. Our aesthetic goal should be to focus on looking good, meaning: Healthy, well-groomed, appropriate, intentional, comfortable, and expressively, uniquely, you.  That's really all a sense of style is: Being intentionally, comfortably, expressively, and uniquely you.   Of …

Men: Real, grown-up superheroes.


I'm a 32 year-old woman surrounded by real men: My father and grandfather, best friend, brothers, friends and colleagues at work, home, church and life. Beyond our very different individual relationships, they all have one thing in common: They protect me. So here I stand, a petite woman only 5 feet tall and backed by …

On weight loss: Winning spiritual battles and conquering the physical


A friend, leader, father, artist, son, and grandfather, Willie Middlebrook, passed away this weekend after health complications following the onset of a stroke some time ago.  As we mourn the loss of our friend and celebrate the peace of his homecoming, I can't help but reflect on health and mortality. Today in a fitness group …

Choose Love


You've probably heard the sad tales of ridiculous superhuman standards and the multitudes of single humans wookin' pa nub in all the wrong places because of them.  And for the record, I abhor this tendency and am quite aware that even those of us who think we're looking for the right things, sometimes aren't.  I …

How to REALLY get (and keep) the love of your life..


Years ago, I was single.  And I got some really perfect advice about avoiding the hotmessdedness that is the inevitable outcome of  the single-and-looking process. I was told to be careful what I wished for. At the time, I asked myself: Do you really want to meet more people or do you want to rediscover …