I think, probably the most annoying annoyance in the history of annoyances is when something you know shouldn’t get under your skin, does. Like a person’s behavior. Or a foul odor. Colds. Sometimes, the news.
Even worse is when you can reasonably convince yourself, you should have seen whatever annoying circumstance was coming, and prevented it.
Also known as recognizing you failed. Or made a mistake.
Big, small, noticed or unnoticed.
Everyone does it.
Maybe it’s failing an important test. Or maybe it’s forgetting to respond to a casual text message. Or maybe it’s a life-changing decision you can never un-decide.
At some point, everyone is a failure. Everyone a success.
And still we pore over how mistakes could have been avoided, better handled, and will be eliminated from our future.
As if any of that were possible.
It’s done.
Why do we discard all the good leading up to -and sure to follow- the mistake, in favor of some good-old-fashioned self-hatred meditation?
Not smart. Dangerous.
When we mess up is when we most need encouragement, hope. That’s when we feel low. But instead of seeking, giving, receiving encouragement and hope we do the opposite.
There’s no balance, no stability in that.
Let’s check out the other end of the spectrum.
What if, for every single victory no matter how big or small, we dropped everything, and started repeating to ourselves how amazing and impressive we were? Threw a day-long celebration, calling and spending hours sharing with everyone how incredible our accomplishment was?
When we succeed is when we need to be settled, feel grounded most. That’s when we feel high. But instead of seeking, giving, receiving settling and grounding, we do the opposite.
Not smart. Dangerous.
Digging a hole for ourselves when we fail, floating around on clouds when we succeed, or living only to avoid or reach either moment…
Is a life out of balance.
Spinning, disoriented.
Dizzy.
Life is meant to be steady, sure, with consistent forward motion, perpetual growth, constant change, building energy.
Kinda like a dance.
We could learn from the way dancers spin, leap and soar so effortlessly.
Dancers use a technique called spotting to encourage balance and discourage dizziness when spinning:
Spotting happens in daily life when before we mess up or achieve, our mind is already settled, focused: on unchanging truth, right thinking.
That’s our head moving faster, so it is stable and at rest when our actions catch up.
When our body finishes its turn, or something happens in our life, our mind is already poised, ready for the next turn.
Spotting in our daily life is us being stable every second of every day, focused on the certainty of radical love, sureness, ascension, patience, safety, propulsion. Peace.
Let’s develop the habit of spotting in our lives: Centering our mind, so that when life spins, we are focused, sure and anticipating the next turn.
Steady. Sure. Balanced.
First of all, how do you spot?
By getting and staying:
Marked by sedate or gravely or earnestly thoughtful character or demeanor.
And how do you get and stay sober?
- Know what is toxic to your environment, body, mind and spirit. Prayer is the test when in doubt. Learn, and relearn what is toxic constantly: It changes as you do.
- Purge toxicity from your environment, body, mind and spirit. Search for and eliminate it constantly: It shifts as your world does.
Now…
This does NOT mean you put yourself in some isolation bubble with a helmet, blinders and cone of shame as your constant companions. That would be every bit as ridiculous, self-defeating, and funny as it sounds.
You were created to interact, to impact.
So the beauty of these tools is that when you practice them constantly, you become anti-venom. How rad is that? Superheroes all day long.
You bring purity, light, truth, balm, and clarity wherever you go like a healing oil slick… You disperse toxicity, and all the less substantial, thinner matter around you.
Tina Watkins Quaye 
Very powerful, I really identified with your post, keep up the great work!
Thanks so much for reading and the encouragement!