Forward

Time marches on.

Are you?

I’m trying desperately to form new habits. These range from the banal (eat healthy and workout), to the profound (don’t bad-mouth yourself), to the really world shaking…

Like, don’t hit the snooze button.

The snooze button habit and the wake up habit are duking it out every morning in my bed. This week the snooze button is up 3-0.

See, the snooze button believes the deep sleep my alarm ended unequivocally is possible. Within ten minutes.

The snooze button lives in denial, hoping to return to a reality that is no longer possible. Wasting time in the reality that exists. In fact, the snooze button has convinced me she has a 30-minute snooze option. (Which totally doesn’t exist.)

Have I chosen this option in a haze of dreamy exhaustion?

Absolutely. Which really meant I turned off the alarm altogether.

Wasting.

Away.

Hours.

So dramatic, the snooze button is.

As silly and funny and true as this is (I know I’m not alone out here y’all,) today I thought of how much we do this in other areas. When we beat ourselves up over past mistakes, reflect on ways to be better tomorrow, listen to the news, review social media, catch up with friends, try to sort out problems in our household…

So much of that work requires you to turn around and look backward: At events that already happened, behaviors that already manifest, actions that have passed.

Of course, while we’re looking backward, we aren’t looking forward.

So where are we?

Stuck in limbo in our own lives.

Time is marching on, and we’re looking at the past.

Battling the snooze button.

Losing time.

Of course, reflection is vital. Understanding our history is critical. But there’s a sweet spot where our intention is to positively influence forward movement, next action, future behavior even while we look back at the past. 

The last couple of years were a battle for me, literally the battle of my life.

But outwardly, it looked totally anti-climactic. Inward work can be that way, but it doesn’t make it any less important. For me, I overcame a hard-won battle with addiction.

To the rest of the world, it didn’t look like much.

But for me it was a constant upheaval between the pull of my thoughts on my actions, and the tension between self-deceit and honesty.

The most critical weapon in my arsenal during the fight was a forward mindset.

Yes, I am also a believer, Bible-based church goer, with a healthy support system but believe me when I tell you none of that mattered until I got in the game.

By making up my mind to think forward.

Maybe addiction isn’t your struggle. Maybe it’s self-sabotage, or laziness, or messiness, or negative thinking, or critical leadership, or bad taste (okay that last one has no remedy)…

No matter your struggle, change is possible and it’s totally up to you.

To accept that you have, actually do have control over your thoughts. That you can control my behavior. That anything and everything around you and within that makes those two basic truths difficult is a violent affront to your life.

In my struggle, did I reflect on my childhood history, my adult habits? Yes.

Did I dwell there and setup camp? No.

With every memory my view was through the lens of learning, of resolving, of reconciling. With every habit, the view was through the lens of proactive planning, pattern disruption, and transparency.

There’s more to my story, as I know there is to yours.

It’s all still unfolding.

I hope this sharing encourages you to keep moving forward. To reconsider perspective. To value your experience, and make sure you never underestimate how powerful and important your survival and total health is.

This is me.

On a journey.

I don’t know exactly where we’re going.

But I know the way.

Love,

Tina